Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a belief that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
gratification is not essential as
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some people consider that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction more vital than
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement and I will explain why in the
follow
Change the verb form
following
show examples
essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one of the most
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
of citizens ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is mental health. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is fact of happiness.
Moreover
Linking Words
, psychological
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
can influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the human mind and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. To give
illustration
Add an article
an illustration
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one research has shown that people who realized their potential on the
job
Use synonyms
which they preferred . Eventually, they have become more successful and joyful, in comparison who chose a huge
salary
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
with
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
will bring pressure, plagued by superiors along with accumulated stress. While
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
with enjoyment will lead to peace and quiet. Another reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is motivation. The inhabitants, who work in the high-paid occupation,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should have challenges with their aims and stimulus.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
profession
Correct article usage
a profession
show examples
solely based on monetary benefits leads to demotivation and low performance. After all, a person can not involve
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the process of working.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
a to tempting offer, he or she should not feel comfort zone. Because of that, it might be caused
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
with their concern, health as well as feeling
Change preposition
of lost
show examples
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: