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Band 2.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
There is a belief that
,
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apply
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job
 gratification is not essential as
large
Correct article usage
a large
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salary
.
However
, some people consider that
job
 satisfaction more vital than
big
Add an article
a big
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salary
. I disagree with
this
 statement and I will explain why in the
follow
Change the verb form
following
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 essay.
Firstly
, one of the most
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 of citizens ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is mental health. Because
,
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apply
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 it is fact of happiness.
Moreover
, psychological
condition
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conditions
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 can influence
on
Change preposition
apply
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the human mind and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. To give
illustration
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an illustration
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 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one research has shown that people who realized their potential on the
job
 which they preferred . Eventually, they have become more successful and joyful, in comparison who chose a huge
salary
.
In other words
,
job
Add an article
a job
the job
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 with
big
Correct article usage
a big
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salary
 will bring pressure, plagued by superiors along with accumulated stress. While
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 with enjoyment will lead to peace and quiet. Another reason is that
,
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apply
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 it is motivation. The inhabitants, who work in the high-paid occupation,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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should have challenges with their aims and stimulus.
Furthermore
,
profession
Correct article usage
a profession
show examples
 solely based on monetary benefits leads to demotivation and low performance. After all, a person can not involve
to
Change preposition
in
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 the process of working.
For instance
, if
person
Correct article usage
a person
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Change the verb form
agrees
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agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
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 a to tempting offer, he or she should not feel comfort zone. Because of that, it might be caused
Add an article
a problem
the problem
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 with their concern, health as well as feeling
Change preposition
of lost
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lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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