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Band 4

what are the main causes of stress in modern life and how could stress be reduced ?

#stress #life
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In
this
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 modern era, there are various
causes
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 of
stress
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. Some
people
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 believe that there are many ways could
reduce
Correct pronoun usage
reduce it
show examples
.
This
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 essay will
be examined
Wrong verb form
examine
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 the
causes
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 of
stress
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 and
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 many
solutions
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 for how to reduce it in detail.
To begin
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 with, there are many factors that could
be occurred
Wrong verb form
cause
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 individual
stress
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.
Initially
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, work-loading and the physical of
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
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 are the main
causes
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 of workers.
For example
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, the company have plenty of assignments that make some employees
are working
Wrong verb form
work
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 hard and feel stressed. If they could not be done their tasks within the deadline including holding many projects.
Moreover
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, social status is another main factor in
this
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.
For instance
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, from my experience, teenager enters into an adult they become a first jobber. It makes them feel pressure in order to have a high social status namely a manager position including a high salary.
On the contrary
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, there are numerous
solutions
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 to reduce these
causes
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 should
be found
Wrong verb form
find
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days
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 off to rest themselves
as well as
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having work-life-balance
Wrong verb form
have a work-life
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.
For instance
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, some
people
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 who find relaxing
days
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 to recover their mental health,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will
be worked
Wrong verb form
work
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 effectively more than individuals who are working hard similar to someone who
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a work-life balance.
Lastly
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, some individuals who cannot find some
solutions
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 that suit them,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be met
a
Change preposition
by a
show examples
psychologist.
For example
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, based on my work experience, some colleagues entered into consulting with a doctor in order that mental treatment since they cannot be controlled.
As a result
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, these
solutions
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 could
be reduced
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the
stress
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 of
people
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.
To conclude
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, it can be seen that the main
causes
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 of
stress
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 these
days
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occurred
Wrong verb form
occur
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 in society namely social status and jobs.
Therefore
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, some
solutions
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 could
provide
Wrong verb form
be provided
show examples
such
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 as finding
days
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 off and entering a psychologist. The world has been changing faster than before,
Correct word choice
and no
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no
Correct word choice
and no
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 one should
be found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 many
solutions
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suit
Correct your spelling
suitable
show examples
 for individuals.
Submitted by prnpt4i on

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task response
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic but lacks depth. Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and supported with relevant examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, but the logical structure of your essay could be improved. Use clear topic sentences and connect your ideas more cohesively throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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