There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#factors #people #workforce #money #factor

Motivation plays a vital role in everyone's life. It is said that

money

is the most crucial factor when it comes to motivating

people

work

. In my opinion, I completely agree with

this

statement for a number of reasons that will be outlined below

Firstly

, employees consider salary a huge part of their jobs because it can help them afford expensive activities.

For example

, many

people

work

hard so they can spend the

money

they earn on going shopping or going to luxurious concerts. These factors are what

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

them happiness in life so it is understandable why they strive for higher and higher income.

Secondly

, without

money

, they cannot pay for their monthly expenditure

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

electricity or water which can be extremely costly due to the current economy.

As a result

, they are more motivated to show up at

work

every day

Finally

money

can be regarded as a form of success. Nowadays, a lot of

people

idolize wealthy individuals who have expensive cars or houses.

Therefore

, they put a lot of effort into working with the hope of being able to possess the same kinds of material because they want to be looked up to by others which makes them feel satisfied.

For instance

, there have been many cases where

people

pretended to look rich on social media to attract others' attention so that they felt better about themselves. In short,

money

can motivate workers tremendously to

work

hard in order to be successful In conclusion, I completely agree that

money

is the main motivator for

people

to stay in the workforce since possessing it makes them happier and more satisfied

Submitted by vuhuelinh578 on Thu Oct 13 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people.

Some believe that students should learn a language very early in school while others think these subjects should be taught later. discuss bothe sides and give your opinion.

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?