IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People who read for pleasure in their free time have a better imagination than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #pleasure #time #imagination #tv
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Few masses believe that reading material about
topic
Correct article usage
a topic
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 of your interest improves
the
Change the word
their
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 fascination
instead
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of
Change preposition
apply
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watching videos in
leisure
Correct pronoun usage
their leisure
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time
Use synonyms
.
Although
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 some people argue that watching TV improves
the
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apply
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communication skills.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both points followed by my opinion. To commence with, people who read
the
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apply
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books to enjoy have
better
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a better
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 imagination. To explain, books have a lot of material on every matter and if someone reads the topics which
attracts
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attract
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 him most, increases his knowledge in that area.
Moreover
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, he could completely focus on
the
Correct article usage
a
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 single topic during his free
time
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. While
a
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apply
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television
Use synonyms
 has specific schedules and not depends on someone’s leisure
time
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, a person likes historical events, if he chose to read
the
Correct article usage
a
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 book he can spend
whole
Correct pronoun usage
his whole
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time
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 on it.
As a result
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, he would get more knowledge because he is spending more
time
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 on
unique
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the unique
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subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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.
On the other hand
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,
television
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 improves
the
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apply
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communication skills as well as knowledge. To elaborate, due to visual effects and vocal presentation one can learn much more from
the
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apply
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television
Use synonyms
.
Although
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, people need to adjust according to TV
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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but
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apply
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they could visualize better
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then
Replace the word
than
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 reading.
For example
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,
a
Change preposition
for a
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folk who likes geography, a video clip on any certain area will give him more information rather than reading a book.
Hence
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, he could
has
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have
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 a better imagination about that place. To conclude,
although
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 reading books give you more information on
single
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a single
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 topic,
yet
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apply
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television
Use synonyms
 is
also
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 playing its role in building fascination
to
Change preposition
in
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 individuals. In my opinion, there should be an amalgamation of both sources of information to complete the personality.
Submitted by qaisarch on

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