Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Before entering
university
studies, many young people are started to work or travel for a
year
after they finished
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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high school.
This
essay will suggest the advantages
such
as we can gain many experiences and money saved but delaying careers and reducing motivation to study are the disadvantages. The main advantages of a
year
break before attending
university
are that
students
can learn about the world and earn money for future use.
By working
Change preposition
Working
show examples
or travelling for a
year
will allow
students
to learn about the difficulties of life outside of the education system.
Also
, the fees of
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
are high, and a lot of
students
decided to work and save for their
further
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
. One of my sisters took a break before entering
university
. She gained many experiences and learned about different people and personalities.
Thus
, she can work in big companies after finishing
university
. Despite these advantages,
students
lose a
year
that could have been used to improve their future careers. Some get used to working or travelling and they lose motivation to study, and they don’t want to attend
university
anymore. As job markets are competitive,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those who finished
university
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
didn’t have huge differences in opportunities. There will be
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
opportunities for those who took a
year
off. According
to
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apply
show examples
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
survey by the British Government reported that 26% of
students
who take a gap
year
never enter
university
. In conclusion, taking a
year
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year's
show examples
break from studies can gain experience and save money but they should consider not
to delay
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delaying
show examples
their careers and not
to lose
Change the verb form
losing
show examples
motivation.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Enhance
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Pronunciation
  • Mimic
  • Native-like accent
  • Cultural awareness
  • Sensitivity
  • Exposure
  • Resource allocation
  • Qualified
  • Effective instruction
  • Overwhelmed
  • Curriculum
  • Undermining
  • Mother tongue
  • Prioritizing
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