Some students take a year off either to work or travel. What is better - traveling or working?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

take a year off either to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or
travel
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. What is better -
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling

The spelling of traveling is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
or working? I want to discuss both options. From my point of view both variants
good
Add a missing verb
are good

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
. Some
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

take a year off either to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because maybe they must
to
Change the verb form
apply

The word to is usually unnecessary after the modal verb must. Consider removing it.

show examples
make money in order to provide for
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
or
your
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
family, maybe they can get pleasure from
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or
that
Change preposition
at that

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
time almost most quantity people buy an
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

IPHONE
Correct your spelling
iPhone

If you don’t want IPHONE to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, naturally and
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

prefer working to buy an
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
IPHONE
Correct your spelling
iPhone

If you don’t want IPHONE to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

instance
Add a comma
,instance

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase For instance. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
my classmate Kamron, recently went to Russia to earn money and buy an
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
IPHONE
Correct your spelling
iPhone

If you don’t want IPHONE to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for himself, since all
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun friends. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

show examples
friends use an
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
IPHONE
Correct your spelling
iPhone

If you don’t want IPHONE to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

or maybe they prefer to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in order to in the future they have
a affordable
Remove the article
affordable travel
a affordable journey
a affordable trip

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun travel in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
travel
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Some
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

take a year off either to
travel
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because maybe they
so
Add a missing verb
are so

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
rich and they are able
prefer
Add the particle
to prefer

It appears that the verb prefer should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

show examples
to
travel
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, kindly if they so
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy

The word wealth doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
they have an
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
IPHONE
Correct your spelling
iPhone

If you don’t want IPHONE to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and they use
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram

If you don’t want instagram to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

show examples
or telegram like all young people and
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they
travel
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

around the world, maybe they want to rest with family, girlfriend, boyfriend or close friends in order to have a memorable experience or holiday destination.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: