IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #classes #curriculum #children #time #subjects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The inclusion of Physical Education classes in school is a controversial topic. While some support the idea that sports should be a mandatory part of the curriculum, others defend that students should spend their time solely on academic subjects. The two sides of
this
Linking Words
 argument will be
then
Linking Words
 analyzed before an informed conclusion can be made. On one hand, physical activity has a remarkable impact on our well-being. According to studies, an active person enjoys higher energy levels throughout the day and has more focus, which means that children that exercise are able to perform better at school.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the sport itself can become a profession for some, and introducing Physical Education classes early on would allow the pupils to discover their passions more easily and
also
Linking Words
 promote
this
Linking Words
 career path.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most parents send their kids to school in order to have an academic formation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, leisure activities like exercise are regarded as a decision of the adult concerning his child and not a matter of formal learning.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, university admission is becoming increasingly more competitive and students need good grades in order to stand out, which becomes difficult if they
also
Linking Words
 have to spend time practising sports. In summary, the presence of Physical Education classes in the children's routine has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
Linking Words
, the improvement in both health and academic performance
as a result
Linking Words
 of exercise outweighs the potential drawbacks due to less time spent learning formal subjects.
Thus
Linking Words
, sports should be an essential part of the curriculum.
Submitted by gdc.gomes on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: