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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit
While having a fixed age of
retirement
 for everybody irrespective of the occupation one does is fair, in my opinion, early
retirement
 facilities should be given to specific occupations and
people
 with special conditions.
This
 essay will discuss which employees will be eligible for early
retirement
. (47) To maintain a sustainable ecosystem,
people
 are engaged with multiple employments. Some types of employment are very labour-intensive
such
 as military jobs, firefighters, miners and so on. Crow engaged in
such
 occupations which require a lot of physical activities and strength should be allowed for early
retirement
. A 64-year-old soldier will not be capable to fight in a battle as same as a young soldier due to physical exertion.
Furthermore
, it will be difficult for a 64-year-old firefighter to save
people
 and carry them out of a building fire due to them being physically unfit.
Similarly
,
people
 who undergo a lot of mental stress while doing their jobs will decay sooner than
people
 who are involved in basic, simpler jobs. A bus driver who experiences a massive amount of mental pressure should be given the chance to an early
retirement
 considering the nature of the mental exertion they undergo.
In addition
 to the above categories, irrespective of the nature of the occupation,
people
 who are physically and mentally unsuitable to continue their employment should be given the opportunity of getting early
retirement
 as exceptional cases.
Therefore
, society will be benefited from a
retirement
 scheme which is varied based on the nature of the occupation and the fitness of the person.
Submitted by dinushika.dulari on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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