IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#person #someone #diet #plenty #exercise #stress #people #country
HEALTH PLAYS A CRUCIAL ROLE IN HUMANS ACHIEVING COMPLETENESS IN THEIR LIFE.
HOWEVER
, CONSUMING GOOD CUISINE, DOING TORSO WORKOUTS AND MAINTAINING
A
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
PLEASANT MENTAL HEALTH ARE THE KEY FACTORS TO MAINTAINING A HEALTHY BODY. IN MY COUNTRY PEOPLE DO MORNING WALKS AND ALWAYS PREFER TO EAT A HOMEMADE DIET. I WILL ELUCIDATE MY POINTS IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS.
FIRSTLY
, OUR NATION HAS A GREAT CULTURE WHICH ALLOWS US TO CONTAIN GOOD HABITS.
THEREFORE
, IN OUR SOCIETY PUBLIC GET UP EARLY MORNING BEFORE SUNRISE TO DO YOGA AND MEDITATION.
THIS
 PROVIDES CLEAR MIND AND FRAME FITNESS WHICH HELPS THEM TO ATTAIN
A
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
POSITIVE ENERGY THROUGHOUT THE DAY.
THIS
 WILL GIVE GREAT IDEAS FOR THEIR WORK.
FOR EXAMPLE
, MY UNCLE ALWAYS GET UP AT 5 AM TO PRACTICE
OF
Change preposition
apply
show examples
BREATH REGULATION WHICH ALLOWS HIM TO HAVE MENTAL WELLNESS AND HE
ALSO
 GOES
FOR
Change preposition
apply
show examples
JOGGING ABOUT 2 KILOMETRE PER DAY . HE INSPIRES ME A LOT.
MOREOVER
, FOR MAINTAINING THE HEALTHINESS EXERCISE IS VERY IMPORTANT IN DAY-TO-DAY LIFE.
SECONDLY
, IN OUR FAMILIES PARENTS DON'T ALLOW US TO EAT JUNK FOOD WHICH CAUSES HEALTH PROBLEMS. ALL THE PEOPLE IN OUR COMMUNITY USE ORGANIC MEALS AND PREFER TO EAT HOMEMADE THAN INSTANT COOKING .
THIS
 WILL IMPROVE THEIR IMMUNITY SYSTEM TO FIGHT NEW VIRUSES.
FOR INSTANCE
 , IN A RECENT STUDY OUR STATE PROVED TO HAVE MORE HEALTHY PEOPLE COMPARED TO OTHERS. SO, NUTRITIOUS FOODSTUFF WILL ALWAYS LEAD TO
OWN
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
GOOD PHYSICAL CONDITION. IN CONCLUSION, PRESERVING GOOD DAILY RITUALS ALWAYS
MAKE
Correct subject-verb agreement
MAKES
show examples
WELL
Correct word choice
GOOD
show examples
 BODY CONDITION AND
THIS
 WILL HAPPEN ONLY IF WE IMPLEMENT IT IN OUR LIVES. IN
THIS
 ASPECT MY COUNTRY IS ALL THE TIME FINE IN HEARTINESS.
Submitted by kakumanuudayreddy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Ensure that all the paragraphs are logically connected to each other and develop the main ideas coherently.
task response
Needs to improve the task response by fully addressing all parts of the task in a comprehensive manner.
task response
Include more relevant and specific examples to support the main points and make the ideas clearer.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: