IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, government are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In many nations, administrations are motivating manufacturing units and private firms to shift to the countryside
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I believe that the pros outweigh the cons in view of
this
Linking Words
 trend, as it will aid in many ways
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as alleviating the metropolis pollution, traffic congestion, availability of more land for the future of towns
Punctuation problem
, etc.
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etc.
Punctuation problem
etc.,
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 as
perused
Verb problem
discussed
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further
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. On the one hand, corporations are creating a lot of air, water and noise pollution,
hence
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 locating the same in rural areas will spoil the natural beauty of
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 areas
,
Punctuation problem
. In
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in addition
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, logging will take place
due to
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 the development of industries, which will have detrimental effects on the wildlife animals.
For instance
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, many wild animals start appearing on the endangered list as they are not getting
space
Correct determiner usage
enough space
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 to survive.
Furthermore
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, workers need to travel more
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it will have more burden on industries as they will have to
bare
Verb problem
bear
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 more expenditure for the transportation of goods to the cities.
On the other hand
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, Factories and businesses create a lot of traffic congestion as vehicles will move to transfer goods and facilitate the employees' commutation,
moreover
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, these units will
also
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 occupy ample space which will make the city more
danser
Correct your spelling
dense
 and limit future expansion of the downtown.
As a result
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, moving these utilities far from towns will ease the development of cities
,
Punctuation problem
. For
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for example
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, a few years ago, the Gujarat Government created Special Economic Zones (
SEZ
Fix the agreement mistake
SEZs
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) away from downtowns and gave lucrative benefits in taxation to various
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
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 by shifting their facilities
in
Change preposition
to
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 SEZs. In conclusion, locating production and businesses outside the metropolis will
be weighing
Verb problem
bring
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 more advantages
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 abating city pollution, reducing traffic jams and clearing the way for the downtown future expansion
,
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;
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nevertheless
Linking Words
, the cons can be mitigated by
rehabilitation
Correct article usage
the rehabilitation
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 of wildlife and
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of better road infrastructure.

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Task response
Make clear your view in the end. State if you think the good side beats the bad one, with one short sentence.
Content
Add more proof for each point. A real or clear example helps.
Language
Fix big language errors and spell mistakes. Use simple and exact words.
Cohesion
Use link words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'so' to join parts.
Task response
You show both sides and give a final view.
Content
You note pollution and space use, and give an SEZ example.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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