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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many students are taught to push themselves to try and be better than other students, rather than work together for everyone’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #work #everyone’s
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In recent times, it is widely acknowledged that study is one of the most crucial things and many
students
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 try to achieve
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 various ways, some people support the opinion that
students
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 cannot build a better future by working together.
However
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,
others
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 strongly believe that
students
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 should be self-motivated to become better than
others
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.
Nonetheless
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, from my point of view, I agree with the previous point. In the following paragraphs, we will discuss both perspectives in
this
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 essay. People feel that
students
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 should learn to push themselves to compete with
others
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 to be better human beings, as
this
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 attitude will help them in the long run and motivates them to think out of the box.
For instance
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, Harvard University research confirms that self-learned habits are hard to be forgotten like
waking-up
Correct your spelling
waking up
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 early, punctuality,
respecting
Correct word choice
and respecting
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 elders etc., When these habits are taught by parents from early childhood, it is hard for the youngsters to change them.
However
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, these kids will have a hard time
to mingle
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mingling
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 and
accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
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others
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 as they are not used to
this
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.
In contrast
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, some people believe that working together with other
students
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 can benefit both, as it enhances sharing and caring for each other.
Further
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,
this
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 will help the young generations to stay united and learn from other's
mistake
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mistakes
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.
For example
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,
students
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 who are exposed to boarding school will have the tendency to accept fellow
students
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 well than the
day-scholars
Correct your spelling
day scholars
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 because they spend ample
amount
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amounts
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 of time with each other and are exposed to
students
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 with varying cultural and economic backgrounds. In conclusion,
students
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 working together in creating a promising future helps both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals and society
thus
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 outweighs the benefits of them pushing themselves to be better.
First
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 of all, I strongly believe that
Submitted by narongdejteeranurak on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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