IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, the number of individuals that dedicate time to leisure activities has significantly reduced. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is mainly due to the advancement in technology and the extreme usage of technical gadgets.
As a result
Linking Words
, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 have addicted to these
devices
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 has a major negative impact on health at a personal level and correspondingly reflects on society as well. To commence with, nowadays, life has become mechanical with a lot of mental stress on everybody. With more technical gadgets like smartphones, smartwatches, iPad, laptops,play station etc., each person irrespective of their age group has been using
such
Linking Words
devices
Use synonyms
 extremely.
Moreover
Linking Words
, social life is being completely ignored.
For instance
Linking Words
, when these electronic gadgets were not around, children used to go and play in the parks and spend most of the time doing physical activities with their parents around them. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are more interested in browsing, playing online games, social networking and watching video content. From the examination of recent research, it is proven that at a very young age children started to get eyesight problems.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is advised to limit the usage of these
devices
Use synonyms
. These habits have a detrimental effect on the health of both children and elderly
people
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is like a butterfly effect ,
although
Linking Words
 it begins with a minor eye irritation which could lead to brain nerves, and neck and spine damage. Apart from that, it has a significant negative impact on society as
this
Linking Words
 could potentially result in chaos with lot many
people
Use synonyms
 of future generations leading to illness in their life.
Consequently
Linking Words
, their productivity goes down. In conclusion, each and every person needs to develop hobbies that are physical in nature rather than getting addicted to technology
devices
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Devote time
  • Hobbies
  • Nowadays
  • Busy
  • Fast-paced
  • Lifestyles
  • Work and career
  • Technology
  • Digital entertainment
  • Limited
  • Free time
  • Lack of motivation
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Decreased
  • Social interactions
  • Creativity
  • Self-expression
  • Negative effects
  • Society
What to do next:
Look at other essays: