IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #money #art #people #investment #services #facilities
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The attention of
people
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 in
art
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 is
ever growing
Add a hyphen
ever-growing
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.
Therefore
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, the state's financial support for
art
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 is
also
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 on the rise.
However
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, some
people
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 argue that it is meaningless to invest in
art
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. They contend the government have to prop public services and facilities up.
This
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 essay will deal with both sides of the topic. On the one hand,
people
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 who cherish the value of
art
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 want the development of the
comtemporary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
art
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 market. When the
art
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 market expands, they believe that the overall level of culture
also
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 ascends. It can be extended to the cultural sphere of the country. If the government develops
art
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 into tourism, it is a great help to the local economy. In fact, countries that have worked hard to preserve works of
art
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 have become famous for it,
Correct word choice
and gain
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gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
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 numerous economic benefits
by
Change preposition
from
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 visitors.
On the other hand
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, there is
also
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 a response that thinks it is a luxury. The opposition believes that investing in
art
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 is a low-probability success. Rather, they argue that investing in social and public facilities increases
people
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's convenience and quality of life. Since
art
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 can be enjoyed privileges properly by only a limited class, it is more efficient to strive for improvement in public facilities that can be used by the entire class. In conclusion,
people
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 are very divided on the question of whether to plough money into
art
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. One will see the potential for the development of
art
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 in the long run and concur with the argument, while another will oppose it because of the opacity of the possibility.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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