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Band 2.5

Schools should ask students to evaluate their teachers. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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The bar chart compares the consolidated
weight
 of
men
 in five major countries
Australia
, The
USA
,
Canada
, Germany, and Brazil in kilograms. Overall, the
USA
 has populations with a far higher average
weight
 than the other nations. Interestingly,
Canada
 and
Australia
 are at the same level as shown in the graph in comparison with the average
weight
 of
men
.
Firstly
,
men
 in the
USA
 are pretty healthy and raked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
 in terms of
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
average
weight
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 88
Kg
. Both,
Canada
 and
Australia
 acquire the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
second
 position, having a
consolidate
Replace the word
consolidated
show examples
weight
 of 82
Kg
, which is 6
Kg
 lower than the leading nation. Germany has a small 2
Kg
 decline in
men
's average
weight
.
However
, in Brazil country, people are deficient and can count the overall
weight
 of the population at 74 Kilograms which is the lowest of the other four countries. In conclusion,
Canada
 and
Australia
 have a good level of similarity, while the
USA
 has the greater figure, but Brazil is again at a low level when considering the average
weight
 of
men
.
Submitted by dk on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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