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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

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The bar chart compares the consolidated
weight
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 of
men
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 in five major countries
Australia
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, The
USA
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,
Canada
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, Germany, and Brazil in kilograms. Overall, the
USA
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 has populations with a far higher average
weight
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 than the other nations. Interestingly,
Canada
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 and
Australia
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 are at the same level as shown in the graph in comparison with the average
weight
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 of
men
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
men
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 in the
USA
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 are pretty healthy and raked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
Linking Words
 in terms of
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
average
weight
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at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 88
Kg
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. Both,
Canada
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 and
Australia
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 acquire the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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second
Linking Words
 position, having a
consolidate
Replace the word
consolidated
show examples
weight
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 of 82
Kg
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, which is 6
Kg
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 lower than the leading nation. Germany has a small 2
Kg
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 decline in
men
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's average
weight
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.
However
Linking Words
, in Brazil country, people are deficient and can count the overall
weight
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 of the population at 74 Kilograms which is the lowest of the other four countries. In conclusion,
Canada
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 and
Australia
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 have a good level of similarity, while the
USA
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 has the greater figure, but Brazil is again at a low level when considering the average
weight
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 of
men
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.
Submitted by dk on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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