IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#countries #shops #products #consider #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The importance of international trade which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial
while
 others reject
this
 notion. The substantial influence of
this
 the movement has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate on both the positive &
negative
Correct word choice
and negative
show examples
 effects of
this
 direction &
thus
Correct word choice
and thus
show examples
 will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriad reasons which will
further
 explain
this
 argument but the most preponderant
one
stem
Correct subject-verb agreement
stems
show examples
 from the fact that international trade has increased exponentially in the
last
 2 decades
due to
 technological advancement and brand establishments. Big brands like Zara, Gucci and Prada have their presence across the globe. Another pivotal aspect of
this
 argument is that
Due to
 globalization, it has become convenient for buyers to buy products of international brands in their own country Needless to say, all these merits stand in good stead.
However
 , there are some pitfalls that negate
this arguments
Change the determiner
this argument
these arguments
show examples
 &
which
Correct word choice
and which
show examples
 can certainly overwhelm the potential influence of
this
 tendency but
one
 of the most alarming
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 is that there is no diversity in designs. Similar designs can be found in different countries.
Besides
, countries lack the authenticity of their local products as they are available or listed on platforms like
amazon
Capitalize word
Amazon
show examples
 which allows sellers to sell products internationally
Hence
, it is apparent why many are against
this
 movement.
According to
 the arguments aforementioned above,
one
 can reach a conclusion that the benefits of global business are instrumental indeed. In my opinion, its potential drawback should not be overlooked either.
Submitted by sharifsujon14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses the topic and provides a balanced discussion of both positive and negative aspects of international trade. Also, provide a clear and decisive opinion in the last paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some sentences are repetitive and could be rephrased to improve overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: