Government spends much money for education. More money should be spent for free time activities. To what extend do agree or disagree?
It is often argued that the regime has an indispensable role in subsidizing the community in every sphere
such
asLinking Words
,
education, health, and some other exercise. Remove the comma
apply
Although
I agree that Linking Words
government
should pay more expenditure on the educational system, I think that a portion of these expenses must be allocated to welfare activities.
At the outset, a certain budget that will be spent on enhancing the learning sector is not a waste of money. Correct article usage
the government
To begin
with, schooling is a substantial factor that contributes to countries’ progress, Linking Words
thus
, myriads of authorities make sure that their citizens will obtain proper learning. Linking Words
For instance
, the government offer a scholarship to students who Linking Words
performed
well in their studies with a high degree to complete their schooling beyond national borders, Wrong verb form
perform
therefore
, they will lead their countries in versatile fields. Academic qualifications are required in many professions. Linking Words
For example
, it is impossible to become a doctor, teacher, or lawyer without having a relevant degree. Linking Words
That is
why I believe that the regime should allocate a great portion of the money to ameliorate the educational system.
In sharp contrast to Linking Words
this
, authorities must pay attention to support other activities. Linking Words
To begin
with, leisure exercises must be considered as fundamental factors which contribute to developing the intellectual capabilities of people. Linking Words
For example
, playing a chess game can boost the logical thinking of players. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
while
a lot of competitions have been held worldwide and Linking Words
this
exhorts citizens to participate, Linking Words
as a result
, if they win, it will be beneficial to gain a good reputation for their countries, and they will be given a rewarding prize. Linking Words
Thus
, I believe Linking Words
that is
important to spend money on other activities
To put it in a nutshell, Linking Words
although
I agree that authorities must devote a proportion of their finances to enhancing education, I think that leisure sports must be supported and given a huge concern like schooling.Linking Words
Submitted by rehameldweik on
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task response
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points and strengthen your argument.
lexical resource
Ensure that your lexical choices are more varied and precise to enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining the logical structure of your essay, especially when transitioning between ideas and paragraphs.
grammatical range
Review and revise your sentence structures and grammar usage to minimize errors and improve accuracy.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?