IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

While studying abroad provides an opportunity to broaden one’s experience, as also present the danger of letting influence from the host culture. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#opportunity #one’s #danger #influence #host #culture
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The majority of youngsters prefer to go to foreign
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countries
coutries
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countries
 for studying at present time. Some believe that
although
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 foreign
countries
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 provide various chances to grow up experience, these
countries
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' cultures
also
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 affect the generation. I disbelief in
this
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 statement because there are many advantages to live in abroad and
adapt
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adopt
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 the local
culture
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.
Firstly
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, while living in abroad, inhabitants get knowledge about their
culture
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. It does not mean that outside
culture
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 always affects them negatively, in most cases, juveniles adapt to other lifestyles and get benefits from that. Majority of the foreign teenagers start working at the age of around 16 so that influences others.
For example
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, in foreign
countries
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such
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 as Canada, the USA, and New Zealand,
people
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 go under the age of 20 to study. So at
this
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 age, they try to adapt to their
culture
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 start hard work think about their dreams in a positive way
,
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apply
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 and become independent like foreign children.
Hence
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, it helps to adapt to the
culture
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 in a good manner.
Secondly
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, the hosting world provides equality in religions.
For example
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, a nation like Inia has many casts and religions which divide
people
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 differently, but in neighbour
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countries
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,countries
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 the public believes in one religion so
that is
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also
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 a good point for the host
culture
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 and
hence
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 it does not create partiality between
people
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 based on casts.
Moreover
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, most
people
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 prefer to stay fit and healthy, so that affects minors and they start to follow their
culture
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 in a positive way.
In contrast
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, in outside
countries
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, addictions like drugs, and alcohol put bad effects on younger, and they think that by taking these drugs they can make their life better
and
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apply
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they look like modern society, but folk do not think that these can bite them later. In conclusion, in my opinion, there are pros of the host
culture
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 which overcome its negative side, so it is better to grab the
culture
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 and opportunities while living in outside
countries
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.
Submitted by sonia.devi66971 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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