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Band 5.5

While studying abroad provides an opportunity to broaden one’s experience, as also present the danger of letting influence from the host culture. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#opportunity #one’s #danger #influence #host #culture
The majority of youngsters prefer to go to foreign
Correct your spelling
countries
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 for studying at present time. Some believe that
although
 foreign
countries
 provide various chances to grow up experience, these
countries
' cultures
also
 affect the generation. I disbelief in
this
 statement because there are many advantages to live in abroad and
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
 the local
culture
.
Firstly
, while living in abroad, inhabitants get knowledge about their
culture
. It does not mean that outside
culture
 always affects them negatively, in most cases, juveniles adapt to other lifestyles and get benefits from that. Majority of the foreign teenagers start working at the age of around 16 so that influences others.
For example
, in foreign
countries
such
 as Canada, the USA, and New Zealand,
people
 go under the age of 20 to study. So at
this
 age, they try to adapt to their
culture
 start hard work think about their dreams in a positive way
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and become independent like foreign children.
Hence
, it helps to adapt to the
culture
 in a good manner.
Secondly
, the hosting world provides equality in religions.
For example
, a nation like Inia has many casts and religions which divide
people
 differently, but in neighbour
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 the public believes in one religion so
that is
also
 a good point for the host
culture
 and
hence
 it does not create partiality between
people
 based on casts.
Moreover
, most
people
 prefer to stay fit and healthy, so that affects minors and they start to follow their
culture
 in a positive way.
In contrast
, in outside
countries
, addictions like drugs, and alcohol put bad effects on younger, and they think that by taking these drugs they can make their life better
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they look like modern society, but folk do not think that these can bite them later. In conclusion, in my opinion, there are pros of the host
culture
 which overcome its negative side, so it is better to grab the
culture
 and opportunities while living in outside
countries
.
Submitted by sonia.devi66971 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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