Both men and woman care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In
this
recent years,
appearance
was so a huge impact on how we live our daily lives because
this
is the
first
thing that
people
notice about you. Almost every
people
in the world definitely cares about their
appearance
more than before.
Therefore
, I completely agree that both boys and girls always look for a good
appearance
. It is clear that
appearance
can make someone's good impression when they
first
sight
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
someone.
Moreover
,
this
reason can lead to
confidence
Add an article
the confidence
show examples
to lives in each day. The
first
thing to be concerned about when you go outside was how you look , is it a good
appearance
.
On the other hand
,
people
who lived in the past might not be concerned at
this
point same as
people
in
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
era.
To compare
Change the verb form
Compared
show examples
with the past,
people
just
care
about what are they going to do
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each day
instead
of how their outfits
look
Wrong verb form
looked
show examples
or how their
appearance
was.
However
, nowadays,
people
usually think about
this
topic almost every time. Making someone's good impression on you is
also
significant.
Therefore
,
appearance
is
also
important as well. Not only
boy
Fix the agreement mistake
boys
show examples
but
also
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
always
care
about their look to fulfilling their confidence to go outside.
It
Add a verb
isIt
wasIt
show examples
also
good that many
people
tend to
care
themself
than in the past. These reasons
also
make
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
generation gap as well. As far as I am concerned, I personally agree that nowadays both boys and girls turn to
care
about their
appearance
more than before.
This
fact is a good sign in
recently
Replace the word
recent
show examples
days and in the future. In fact,
people
are turning to
care
for
themself
and love
themself
than before and making
themself
more confident in
lives
Correct pronoun usage
their lives
show examples
each day.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social media platforms
  • beauty and personal care industry
  • societal norms
  • health and fitness
  • celebrity culture
  • technology advancements
  • cosmetic surgery
  • dermatology treatments
  • mental health awareness
  • self-esteem
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