Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children’s who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults

#people #sense #competition #children #children’s #adults

There are two types of approaches regarding the upbringing of the younger ones. With

this

in mind, some consider being competitive better than being cooperative and vice versa. According to my point of,

view

Add a comma

,view

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both have their own pros and cons which I will illustrate in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,

life

is a race and in

this

world

Add an article

the world

a world

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only the person who is a better performer than others will win.

For example

, research conducted at Howard University stated that people working in the rival ecosystem perform better than those working alone and

also

create a sense of

Correct your spelling

self-achievement

show examples

self- achievement

Correct your spelling

self-achievement

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and

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

For instance

, competitions are conducted in every field of

life

just to create a competitive atmosphere and

additionally

, to yield the best out of a person’s brain. Needless to say, a sense of competition should be created from the early stage of a child’s

life

to push their goals and explore healthier opportunities in

life

. On the other side, no one can win only by competing with others all the time, sometimes in some environments being cooperative is necessary,

for example

, a survey in Norway suggested that people working in helpful environments gave higher output.

Moreover

kid’s

Fix the agreement mistake

kids’

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group studying often

come

Change the verb form

comes

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up with better ideas and reasoning.

Furthermore

, society flourishes more when everyone is ready to help

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

instead

of bringing them down. To conclude, both views are correct.

However

, there should be a balance between them to let society and children

growth

Replace the word

grow

show examples

in a good way.

Submitted by ammaramaqsood60 on Tue Oct 18 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children’s who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults

Your opinion

Memorising facts is the most important way to succeed in education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people says we should use free space in town and city for plantation a d some says that it should be used for construction. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, ther people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.