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Band 7.5

“Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#“do #activities #student’s #life
School
 education is based on the overall development of children.That's why lots of cultural
activities
 like dance competitions, debates etc are conducted by schools these days. Extracurricular
activities
 play an important role in the personality development of
students
 . let us discuss these points in detail. Extracurricular
activities
 like sports, dance and other cultural
activities
 focus on developing children's mental and physical development. It brings out their confidence and a sense of commitment by participating in various kinds of events . Once a student enrols on a competition they will try to win that competition. With that kind of commitment and ,confidence their personality develops and they became more confident regarding their communication skills , learning skills etc. ,
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 when I was studying in
school
 , my
school
 reserved the
last
 two hours for cultural activity every Saturday. There are different types of competitions were conducted by the
school
 administration. Most of the
students
 were very excited about those events . As they like to watch the performance of participants
also
.
In addition
 to that , there are certain disadvantages of
this
 kind of activity
for example
 few
students
 are willing to put more effort and concentration into extracurricular
activities
 like sports , and dance events. That may impact their studies and ,
finally
Add a comma
,finally
show examples
 their academic results suffered. So it is very important to have balance in both
activities
 like academic and extracurricular. To conclude , Extracurricular
activities
 are important and should be monitored by teachers so that
students
 can maintain a fine balance between studies and extracurricular
activities
. So I agree with the statement that extracurricular
activities
 are important in student life.
Submitted by yash334 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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