IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#workplaces #communication #face #advantage #development
In today's world, internet-based video conferencing systems are highly popular amongst numerous establishments and they are approved as a useful way of communication technique. While these technologies can cause several negative outcomes, the advantages that are provided by online systems, are highly efficient for brands. In
this
 essay, I will explain these aspects. Some offices think that these state-of-the-art, online communication services are useless. According to Dean Whitterford, the finance executive of Tesco, "Virtual conferences lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
discipline, and they result in some crucial issues regarding employee and boss relationships."
Hence
, In order to maintain a decent business environment, the whole staff needs to breathe the same air.
Therefore
, within online speeches, managers will
be struggle
Change the verb form
struggle
show examples
 to understand their crew.
In contrast
,
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain applications,
likewise
,
Zoom
Change preposition
as Zoom
show examples
,
Google
Correct word choice
and Google
show examples
 Meet, create great opportunities for establishments. That technological era inventions connect people with the whole world in
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
.
Moreover
, most of the working groups gain advantages and benefits thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online platforms.
For example
, Google headquarters have switched to remote working in April 2020, the company has reduced its gasoline and commuting prices since that day. If they did not choose
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that option, the carbon monoxide
relasing
Correct your spelling
releasing
 would be highly detrimental.
Consequently
, these devices and applications are nearly mandatory
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
 day. To sum up, remote meeting services tend to
Correct your spelling
slightly
slighlty
Correct your spelling
slightly
 reduce profits in some companies, advantages
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 time
concervation
Correct your spelling
conservation
 and
environment friendly
Add a hyphen
environment-friendly
show examples
 ways are crucial and efficient for the majority.
Submitted by nuri-akbas on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: