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Writing Samples
Band 3

How energy is used in and average australian household.

#energy #australian #household
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The two pie charts show information about the usage of
energy
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 and emissions of
greenhouse
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gases
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 because of
energy
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 usage in
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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Australian households. Overall, what
Unnecessary verb
apply
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is
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it
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 stands out from the graphs is that the average household's main consumption is going towards heating the house and
water
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. While the main sources of
greenhouse
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 gas emissions are
water
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 heating and other appliances. Looking at the details, Australians are using 42% of their
energy
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 to warm houses and 30%
energy
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 to heat
water
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. Other appliances are using around 15% of total
energy
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 consumption. Refrigeration, lighting and cooling are consuming 7%, 4% and 2% of
energy
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 respectively. Now, If we go through the
emission
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 of
greenhouse
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gases
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 in Australian households
then
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 32% of emissions are because of
water
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 heating. Other appliances are emitting around 28% of
gases
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. The point here to be noted is that the main chunk of
energy
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 is consumed on heating houses but
greenhouse
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gases
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emission
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 because of heating are only 15%. Refrigeration
that is
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 using 7% of
energy
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 but
greenhouse
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gases
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emission
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 because of refrigeration
are
Change the verb form
is
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 14% which is almost double
than
Change preposition
apply
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the
energy
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 consumption. Lighting and cooling
emission
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 is
also
Linking Words
 higher and
that is
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 around 8% and 3% respectively.
Submitted by sohailbhai4u on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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