IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that government should encourage industries and businesses to move from large cities to countryside. Do you think that advantages outweighs the disadvantages?

#people #government #industries #businesses #move #cities #countryside
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Nowadays, there is a contentious issue apply regarding whether the authorities should provide incentives for factories and other
companies
relocating
Change the verb form
to relocate
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to rural sites. From my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
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 the merits outweigh the drawbacks. There are significant benefits to locating
companies
 in regional areas. For businesses themselves they have a considerable decline in cost,
such
 as leases on premises, which are usually on the high side in big cities,
furthermore
, it will boost the economy of the community and
also
 create job opportunities for those dwelling in that area,
this
 will increase the internally generated revenue of that place, from taxes that will be paid by those industries due to
this
 pollution in those big cities will be reduced. ,
However
Add a comma
,However
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 there
is
Change the verb form
are
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also
 potential drawbacks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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companies
 and business moving outside the metropolitan premises. The main disadvantage for those
companies
 in regional areas may be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 distance from their employees which will
further
 reduce their manpower in the company. In conclusion, the advantages of moving to rural areas
Seem
Fix capitalization
seem
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 to be more than the disadvantages as it can benefit the community by increasing the amount of taxes they get from these
companies
 and reduce the rate of unemployment
however
 there are few challenges to finding labour and maintain close relationships with there customers. Given
this
 ,
situation
Add an article
a situation
the situation
show examples
 it seems that the government should offer incentives to encourage
companies
 to relocate to the countryside.
Submitted by idoghojennifer on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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