Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #people #lots #effects #ban

These days many commercials are designed to influence kids and over the years

this

trend has become a market strategy for companies. In my opinion, it has negative impacts on

children

thus

I agree to a larger extent with the fact that it must be stopped and to support my stance points are discussed in following paragraphs.

To begin

with, those who opine that

such

ads should not be banned assert that whether to buy the things or not that are shown in advertisements is a matter of personal choice of parents and they can simply refuse if they consider any of the

products

appeared in the advert is not good for their buds.

Hence

, there is no need to ban ads .

On the other hand

, people who consider it a negative trend assert that

such

announcements are promoting unhealthy eatable. Admittedly,

children

opt to go for food that poses health hazards because they have seen an attractive commercial about it. To illustrate, sales of

such

companies have increased many-folds,whose

products

are of sub-standard but they have spent handsome money on promoting those

products

Therefore

, authorities must act in all possible means to halt

such

business practices.

Furthermore

such

ad films are putting a financial burden on parents by making

children

stubborn. As a matter of fact, kids usually demand

products

shown in an advert without considering how useful it is and ,usually

such

items are costly to buy.

For example

, there is an increase in the outflow of funds by 20 -30 per cent just to buy stuff for kiddos.

Thus

, it affects families financially

also

, so government should ban

such

advertisements. In conclusion, to some ,extent it can be said that it is a matter of choice to own any of the

products

featured in commercials or not but more

importantly

Add a comma

,importantly

show examples

it is spoiling eating habits and making

children

more adamant for wrong reasons.

Submitted by parmarjas3 on Wed Oct 19 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

316 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
A company offers a temporary job with no salary, but it helps you to gain some work experience. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, -introduce your previous work experience -tell the manager which department you want to work -describe what expectation you have from the job
I am very glad to recieve from you suggestion for work. I honestly believe that I will have more knowledge, and work experience. I want to be part of youe company even for free.
6.5
band
In order to cover the increasing cost of expenses, more and more people work very long shifts and have two or more jobs. give your opinion whether the advantages of working very long hours or having more than one job outweigh the disadvantages.
An increasing number of people work extremely long hours or have more jobs to pay enough for the costs of expenditure. It's obvious that applying for extra hours and working several jobs are going to highly gain profit.
4
band
Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?
Nowadays, talking about maintaining a life with healthy diet is very dificult and complicated. There are so many options and advertising as a huge tamptation. In the same way could have internet influence about issues around it, or, health programs talking about. Moreover, the people want to work each day more and more, forgoting to take care of themselves.
6.5
band
Studying the English language in an English-speaking country is the best but not the only way to learn language. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Learning English in a foreign society is the best method to learn the language. However, it is not the only system to study the language. In my opinion, while it is the best way, I agree that it is not the only one to learn English. There are a lot of alternative ways for people to get English education.
7.5
band
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Due to the curious nature of humans, many tourists prefer to visit difficult conditions places like Antarctica. There is denying the fact that the phenomenon of exploring such a place is ubiquitous across the globe due to its importance. The majority of folks are in the favour of this notion due to its number of merits. However, some people highlight its demerits first. In my further paragraphs, the advantages and disadvantages of the same will be discussed.

Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

A company offers a temporary job with no salary, but it helps you to gain some work experience. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, -introduce your previous work experience -tell the manager which department you want to work -describe what expectation you have from the job

In order to cover the increasing cost of expenses, more and more people work very long shifts and have two or more jobs. give your opinion whether the advantages of working very long hours or having more than one job outweigh the disadvantages.

Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?

Studying the English language in an English-speaking country is the best but not the only way to learn language. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?