Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #people #lots #effects #ban

These days many commercials are designed to influence kids and over the years

this

trend has become a market strategy for companies. In my opinion, it has negative impacts on

children

thus

I agree to a larger extent with the fact that it must be stopped and to support my stance points are discussed in following paragraphs.

To begin

with, those who opine that

such

ads should not be banned assert that whether to buy the things or not that are shown in advertisements is a matter of personal choice of parents and they can simply refuse if they consider any of the

products

appeared in the advert is not good for their buds.

Hence

, there is no need to ban ads .

On the other hand

, people who consider it a negative trend assert that

such

announcements are promoting unhealthy eatable. Admittedly,

children

opt to go for food that poses health hazards because they have seen an attractive commercial about it. To illustrate, sales of

such

companies have increased many-folds,whose

products

are of sub-standard but they have spent handsome money on promoting those

products

Therefore

, authorities must act in all possible means to halt

such

business practices.

Furthermore

such

ad films are putting a financial burden on parents by making

children

stubborn. As a matter of fact, kids usually demand

products

shown in an advert without considering how useful it is and ,usually

such

items are costly to buy.

For example

, there is an increase in the outflow of funds by 20 -30 per cent just to buy stuff for kiddos.

Thus

, it affects families financially

also

, so government should ban

such

advertisements. In conclusion, to some ,extent it can be said that it is a matter of choice to own any of the

products

featured in commercials or not but more

importantly

Add a comma

,importantly

show examples

it is spoiling eating habits and making

children

more adamant for wrong reasons.

Submitted by parmarjas3 on Wed Oct 19 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

The government should pay for the course fees for everyone who wants to study at the university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Findings show that many criminals have low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prisons so that they can get job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?