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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. it is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To What extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
Some say that
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is a surge in
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 who are dealing with health problems
as a result
 of eating junk
food
, due to that immediate precaution
is state
Change the verb form
is stated
is stating
show examples
 bodies need to implement
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 on
street
food
. I Couldn't disagree more with the given
Correct your spelling
statement
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
, because people are having dinner on the
street
 because of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 busy
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
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lives
show examples
, which leads to
have
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having
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 quality dishes on regular basis.
In other words
, community support in each locality for
street
food
 is strong regardless of the location on earth,
this
 is directly co-related to
raise
Correct article usage
the raise
show examples
 in working employees, which is caused by the Big companies,
left
Wrong verb form
leaving
show examples
 people and their employees to have
food
 on the streets,
for instance
;
street
 carts main sales areas are tech hub spots and working areas
this
 applies to every part of
this
 universe.
This
 reason confirms,
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
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fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
 savoury dishes on
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
plate
Fix the agreement mistake
plates
show examples
 on regular basis leaves them at the plane site to have diseases in each country, If congress increases
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 on the
food
 courts that can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
street
food
 prices and leaves with
empty
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the empty
an empty
show examples
street
, A perfect example is; Before
street
vendures
Correct your spelling
ventures
vendors
 are in peak, restaurants are the place we had dinner but
incease
Correct your spelling
increase
 in prices cost them to have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 customers, the same will repeat if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 want to increase tax. In conclusion, I think with
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
Correct your spelling
population
popluation
Correct your spelling
population
 and
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of people who are having health problems caused by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
street
food
, can only
happened
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
 as an aftermath of hustling lifestyles and quality of
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 life.
Submitted by alliswell4usai on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
What to do next:
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