IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Students leave high school without learning about how to manage their money. What are the reasons for this? What can be improved in students’ understanding of how to manage their finances?

Most students graduate from high school without any
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 in
money
Use synonyms
 management. The main reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 ignorance are the absence of any subject in the syllabus regarding the way to use
money
Use synonyms
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as the reluctance of the parents to give their minors the responsibility of handling
money
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, incorporating subjects relevant to finance
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 introducing the students to real-world situations can make them wiser in managing
money
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the modern education system does not have any courses for teaching students about managing
money
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, we can see that
although
Linking Words
 a student learns mathematics from the very beginning of his educational life, there is not even a single subject on
money
Use synonyms
 management in the curriculum of the schools, which is the prime reason for them being
an ameture
Correct your spelling
amateurs
 in using
money
Use synonyms
 properly. Another reason is that a 12th
graduate
Check wording
grader
show examples
 is not given the opportunity to handle
money
Use synonyms
 on their own, since most parents do not like the idea
to give
Change preposition
of giving
show examples
 their children extra
money
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they never get exposure regarding the
utilization
Use the right word
utilisation
show examples
 of the
money
Use synonyms
. The unwanted situation can be improved
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if schools incorporate courses on finance, which must be more practical rather than only theoretical, and
organize
Use the right word
organise
show examples
 some projects or seminars depicting real-world
money
Use synonyms
 situations.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a school
organize
Verb problem
organises
show examples
 an event where a student would manage all the funding, they would get a very useful experience of handling cash in reality. In
this
Linking Words
 way, the juvenile would enter their next phase of life with some real-life experiences
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they would know how to handle
money
Use synonyms
 smartly
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
at the same
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
 they would have much more knowledge regarding
money
Use synonyms
 investment. In conclusion, high school pupils are completing their degrees without even learning about
money
Use synonyms
 management
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of pertinent courses in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools and parents' unwillingness to teach their children about
money
Use synonyms
. The situation can be improved by introducing a subject that would depict real-life
money
Use synonyms
-handling processes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
Make sure you answer all parts of the task. Add more steps that schools and parents can use to teach money skills.
structure
Plan your essay. Use clear order with one main idea per paragraph.
language
Fix grammar and spelling. Use simple, short sentences.
content
Give more real examples with detail and numbers where you can.
idea
Your essay has a clear idea that money skills are needed.
example
You use some good examples of real life money use.
plan
The essay has a real plan to fix the issue.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: