These days, more father's stay at home and take of their children, and mother's go to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you believe that this a positive or negative development?

this

Linking Words

contemporary world,

large

Change the article

a large

the large

show examples

number of fathers look after their children meanwhile, mothers are working and all of

the

Change the word

their

show examples

financial situations are being covered by them. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

depends on

men

Use synonyms

's indolence

Linking Words

besides

Change preposition

apply

show examples

another efficient could be a promotion of women

instead

Linking Words

men

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

. According to evidence,

that is

Linking Words

an inappropriate revolution among humanity.

Then

Linking Words

, I will try to discuss and highlight both of them. Today's fathers are significantly fashionable because, some years ago, they were

endeavoring

Change the spelling

endeavouring

show examples

to save money for taking care of their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

However

Linking Words

, erstwhile and actual cases have huge discrepancies.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the past, both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

obligations

Correct article usage

the obligations

show examples

were on

men

Use synonyms

and females were looking after their children. They had respect and appreciation

each

Change preposition

for each

show examples

other

in addition

Linking Words

life

Use synonyms

was great

also

Linking Words

everyone had a place in

life

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

male

and

Correct word choice

show examples

female.

In contrast

Linking Words

present

Change preposition

in present

show examples

days

Fix the agreement mistake

day

show examples

, laziness is coming more common among males.

Hence

Linking Words

, duties have been altering between them

as a result

Linking Words

, women are becoming

head

Fix the agreement mistake

heads

show examples

of families. There are lots of reasons for

this

Linking Words

issue and

Change preposition

show examples

the

first

Linking Words

stage,

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of women are able to get a promotion so easy due to their intelligence.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, males are full-time dad

either

Correct word choice

and

show examples

housekeeper

Fix the agreement mistake

housekeepers

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

that time.

Men

Use synonyms

can not do anything with freedom, their own money or ideas

besides

Linking Words

they might not be enough money for happening something. As an impact, dysfunctional families and broken homes may

be appeared

Change to the active voice

appear

have appeared

show examples

between family members. Everybody should know their stage in

life

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, mothers' function at

work

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is not needless

instead

Linking Words

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

fathers should

work

Use synonyms

for their immediate family. Of course, jobs are not rejected for females it is their own

decisions

Fix the agreement mistake

decision

show examples

. In

Correct your spelling

principle

show examples

principal

Correct your spelling

principle

show examples

men

Use synonyms

have to find their place in

life

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

and family.

Bunnijon16

Oct 19, 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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These days, more father's stay at home and take of their children, and mother's go to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you believe that this a positive or negative development?

Directors and managers of organisations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The number of people who are at risks of serious health problems due to overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?