Discipline is a growing problem in modern schools. Some people think that parents should discipline their own children, while others think it should be the responsibility of the government. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#discipline #schools #people #parents #children #responsibility #government

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

contemporary epoch, discipline has become a controversial argument. Whilst some opponents emphasize that it is the government which shoulders the responsibility, some proponents and I hold a diverse stance because fosters play a quintessential role in rearing a well-disciplined offspring. In

this

Linking Words

essay, both views,

along with

Linking Words

my opinion will be

further

Linking Words

elaborated. To embark on, despite agreeing with the view that guardians should take the lead in teaching disciplinary behaviours, some critics discern that state involvement is the key solution to a

highly-disciplined

Correct your spelling

highly disciplined

show examples

generation since governments are able to launch awareness-raising campaigns concerning the importance of

this

Linking Words

attribute.

This

Linking Words

means that when authorities conduct commercials for the sake of increasing the alertness of societies, they will guarantee a brighter future in different aspects of life. An eminent example of

this

Linking Words

is Egypt where there was an anti-drug campaign which was conducted by the famous Egyptian footballer Mo Salah to raise the recognition of young people.

Therefore

Linking Words

, in a final analysis, the crucial contribution of authorities cannot be neglected.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, custodians are the ones who raise well-brought-up teenagers, but

this

Linking Words

needs a significant amount of effort because they are in close and prolonged contact with their younger ones.

In other words

Linking Words

, if breadwinners attend parenting workshops, they will be ready to deal with different problems that may face their dependents.

This

Linking Words

can be witnessed in Germany which holds the record as the country with the highest level of fostering programs.

Accordingly

Linking Words

, foster parents should attend children-rearing classes to protect them from different social ills. In conclusion,

after

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that not only is state intrusion crucial

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

caregivers should cooperate. Eventually, I am a staunch believer that guardians ought to be keen on attending these classes.

Submitted by ericssonsony551 on Thu Oct 20 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Address the essay prompt directly and provide a balanced discussion of both views. Make sure to fully explore the topic from all angles.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion, but there is room for improvement in organizing the ideas and connecting them logically throughout the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In some countries, it is possible to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?
In modern society, we enjoy various foods which have been imported from other countries. On the one hand, having a variety of food from all over the world seems unnecessary and has harmful effects on our food consumption, but I also think experiencing a variety of food has more positive than we might have thought.
7
band
Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many university students are choosing to study online instead of face to face. Do the advantages of distance education outwiegh the disadvantages?
As online-based learning becomes increasingly popular, many university students prefer to study online rather than face-to-face. I firmly believe that the advantages of long-distance classrooms significantly outweigh the disadvantages.
5
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a common belief such as today's modern world children are exposedto alot of pressure to achieve academic success,therefore plenty of people believe that physical education and cookery should be taken off from school curriculum.I completely disagree with this statement.
5
band
Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?
In recent years, some state that people have to be ambitious to be a great part of society. In my opinion, this idea is quite crucial because of a certain reason that I mention in this essay, and the characteristic is considered as both positive and negative personality.
7
band
Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world's fuel resources.
In recent years, it has been observed that there has been a noticeable rise in the number of individuals discussing the potential effects resulting from the surge in petroleum costs and its impact on various aspects of our daily lives. It is frequently argued that raising the cost of fuel is the most effective approach to reducing global consumption. while others strongly oppose this approach, advocating instead for the promotion of clean energy alternatives. In this essay, it will be argued that a balance between elevating fuel costs and promoting the adoption of renewable energy is crucial for achieving both economic stability and environmental sustainability.

Discipline is a growing problem in modern schools. Some people think that parents should discipline their own children, while others think it should be the responsibility of the government. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, it is possible to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many university students are choosing to study online instead of face to face. Do the advantages of distance education outwiegh the disadvantages?

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world's fuel resources.