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Band 5.5

Some people believe that parents should teach their students to be good citizens, however believe that school should do this. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #parents #students #citizens #school
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Making a pupil a nice native is the responsibility of guardians assumed by some sections of society; others feel that educational
institute
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institutes
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more obliged to do that.
This
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 essay intends to explore both opinions and I would argue that it should be done by parents
as well as
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 schools. On the one side, some individuals tout that
students
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 will become good citizens if their parents
would
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apply
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teach them.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that family inculcates the values in children as they spend their most of time residing with them.
As a result
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, pupils always imitate their guardians' actions as they would follow them.
In contrast
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, criminal people,
for example
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, have a record of a distorted family which is the major reason for their criminal actions.
Therefore
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, the more
couple
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the couple
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 teaches them good values , the more chances that they will become great countrymen. On the other side, many believe that schools should give instructions to
students
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 to be good citizens because pupils will obey their teachers
due to
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 some rules and restrictions applied by the school which force them to act in a good manner ,
otherwise
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 they will get punishment.
Consequently
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, in fear
to get
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of getting
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 some negative rewards
such
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 as
long-standing
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standing
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 in classrooms, sit-ups and repeat writing notes, learners always behave in a sophisticated way.
Thus
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,
it is clear that
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 under some restrictions, learners will learn to be good citizens. In my opinion, As pupils spend their time equally at home and at school, it is the responsibility of both that they should teach them fundamental values so that they would make their country proud by doing wonderful deeds. For that reason, both parties should tie up and by use of positive and negative reinforcements, they should make their
students
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 wise countrymen. In conclusion,
although
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 people have various beliefs,
nevertheless
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, I think good citizenship should be taught to
students
Use synonyms
 by guardians
as well as
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 educational institutes.
Submitted by immysandhu94 on

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task response
Make sure to fully address the task prompt by discussing both views in an organized manner. Provide specific examples and develop your ideas more comprehensively to improve task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. However, work on providing stronger connections between sentences and providing more cohesive devices to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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