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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut-down the rate of committing crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #rate #crimes
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Crimes can be seen cutting down in number as new advanced technologies are helping the cops or the community to deal better with
such
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 activities. I strongly believe
with
Change preposition
in
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this
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 passage. New advancements in
this
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 digital world helped people stay safe as gadgets like
cctv
Correct your spelling
CCTV
Cctv
 cameras, drones,
gps
Correct your spelling
GPS
, live locations and plastic money help
generation
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the generation
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 travel free without thinking about crimes. Females in
the
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apply
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society can share
the
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their
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 live location
to
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with
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 their families so that they keep a track of where she is, Drones,
cctv
Correct your spelling
CCTV
Cctv
 cameras help the police find the crime location and the related areas to catch the culprit. Youth use debit cards, credit cards and
UPI's
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UPIs
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 to reduce
the
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apply
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pick pocketing
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pickpocketing
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 while
traveling
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travelling
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in
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on
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 public transport or in markets.
Thus
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 it is clearly evident that technologies are making lives easy and
crime free
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crime-free
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.
On the
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contrary
Add a comma
,contrary
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 if we consider criminals are
also
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 using
the
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apply
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technology well as they are more into cyber crimes
such
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 as sending a random link to
older
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the older
an older
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 generation with the greed of winning a lottery and
this
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 leads to digital money
released
Add a missing verb
being released
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 to the criminals.
This
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 can
also
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 be detected by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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police officials by tracking the location of the laptop and the internet. Another disadvantage is
government
Add an article
the government
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 needs to have a
high end
Add a hyphen
high-end
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 budget to install the cameras in the streets of the local market, buses, metros,
stations
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and stations
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. To Conclude agreeing
to
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with
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this
Linking Words
 point that
technology
Replace the word
technological
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 advancement is a positive outcome. More and more individuals should download certain safety apps
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their mobiles to keep them safe from all these frauds and robberies.
Submitted by mailtoritika.chandwani on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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