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Writing Samples
Band 4

If you could plan the perfect day to spend with your close friends, where would you go and why?

#plan #friends
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There’s a lake with an
island
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 in the middle of it north of our
town
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, and I would go there for the perfect
day
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, an
all
Add a hyphen
all-day
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day
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 camp out.
It’s
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 a great
place
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 to go swimming because
it’s
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 deep and cool.
It’s
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 a great
place
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 to have a cookout or picnic because
it’s
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 far away from the rest of humanity and we don’t have to worry about being noisy to our
neighbors
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neighbours
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. And
it’s
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 far away from the
light
Fix the agreement mistake
lights
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 of houses and the
town
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, so
it’s
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 a perfect
place
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 to go to sleep under the
stars
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. The perfect
day
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 for me would be an overnight camp out to that
island
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. The first reason why I would plan a perfect
day
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 on that
island
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 is because
it’s
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 a great
place
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 to go swimming with my friends. The lake is nice and deep around where the
island
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 is. There’s a
place
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 where we can dive right in off of a tire swing we put there. The water is cool and we all have a great time splashing around and playing in the water. We always have a great time when we go out there and go for a long swim around that
island
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. The second reason a campout there would be a perfect
day
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 is that we could have as big a
party
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we
Correct word choice
as we
show examples
 want without anyone being bothered. We could play our music loudly and dance and sing and no one would threaten to call the police on us. We could eat all the food we brought
while
Linking Words
 we chatted loudly with ourselves and no one we would know would try to crash the
party
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. It would just be me, my friends, some great music, and enough food to
last
Linking Words
 us until we left the following morning. That would make it a perfect
day
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,
that
Correct word choice
where
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 we could eat and
party
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 without worrying about the
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. The
last
Linking Words
 reason I would consider a campout
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 that
island
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 to be perfect would be that we could fall asleep looking at the
stars
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. In the
town
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 where we live, we could never have seen the
stars
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 because there were so many houses with lights on. We would
also
Linking Words
 only sleep inside with our parents nearby, so there was no sense of adventure. But on the
island
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, with the
town
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 so far away, we can see the night sky clearly. We can all gather together, look at the
stars
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 and tell each other our wishes and other personal worries to each other as we drift into sleep. The
stars
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 always look beautiful and we feel a sense of peace as we stare up at them from our small
island
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. So that
island
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 in the middle of the lake would be where we would spend our perfect
day
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.
It’s
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 a great
place
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 to swim because
it’s
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 deep,
cool
Correct word choice
and cool
show examples
, and we can dive in without getting hurt.
It’s
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 a great
place
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 to have a
party
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 and
cookout
Correct your spelling
cook out
show examples
 because no one is there to threaten to call the cops or to crash the
party
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.
It’s
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also
Linking Words
 a great
place
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 to camp because we can see the
stars
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 at night, something we could never do at home. That’s why a
day
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 on that
island
Use synonyms
 would be a perfect
day
Use synonyms
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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