IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Is mental strength important for success or is it more important to be strong and fit for success in sports? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#strength #success #sports
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It is thought by some that
psychology
Replace the word
psychological
show examples
 strength is crucial for getting victory while others believe that physical fitness provides high
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
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to
Change preposition
of
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 get success in
sports
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opinions along with my own viewpoint. To commence with, mental strength plays a vital role in
sports
Use synonyms
 as winning and losing is quite common in games and if a
person
Use synonyms
 is losing the
game
Use synonyms
 he should be mentally strong to face his failure so that he can be able to play in other competition. To exemplify, a
person
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participated
Correct pronoun usage
who participated
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 in
swimming
Correct article usage
a swimming
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 competition
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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lose his
race
Use synonyms
 only with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 gap of 2 seconds but he has a mindset of victory and again he participated in his
race
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 and won the
race
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, it shows that
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
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 stability of an individual really matters. On the paradoxical side,
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
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 fitness of people in
sports
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 is important as it is the major factor which contributes
in
Change preposition
to
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 the field of
sports
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. A
person
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 with
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
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 weight has zero chances to play
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any
sports
Use synonyms
 and if he
try
Change the verb form
tries
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 to take part in his
game
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 he will definitely
Replace the word
lose
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loose
Correct your spelling
lose
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 it.
For example
Linking Words
, in
800
Correct article usage
an 800
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 m
race
Use synonyms
 a
person
Use synonyms
 with
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 weight, endurance, speed and strength can only win as
as
Remove the redundancy
apply
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compared to the other weak players.
Besides
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this
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, only players who are strong and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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fit
Correct article usage
a fit
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 body are allowed to play at international games, a
person
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 all the requirements which are made by the
sports
Use synonyms
.
Hence
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, it proves that an athlete should be powerful and healthy to win or participate in any
game
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. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 both mental stability and physical fitness of a
person
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 necessary to get triumph in any competition related to
sports
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 but being
psychological
Change the adjective
psychologically
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 prepared for the
game
Use synonyms
 is not
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 factor
contributes
Correct pronoun usage
that contributes
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the victory of an athlete.
Submitted by Harmeet Singh Khera on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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