Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
It has become debatable whether the rate of illegal activities could be minimized by putting criminals in jail for the long term or if there are other methods which are more effective.
This
essay intends to analyse the validity of both perceptions before forming my opinion.
On the one side, proponents of the former view consider that lengthy imprisonment is the most efficient way to decrease the crime rate. Linking Words
This
is Linking Words
due to
the fact that people who have no moral values, will always do something bad to society Linking Words
such
as robberies, murders and rapes. Linking Words
In contrast
, if they Linking Words
would be
released from bars easily Wrong verb form
were
then
they Linking Words
will
continue to do the same actions all over again. Wrong verb form
would
Consequently
, there would be a negative impact on society. Linking Words
Therefore
, in order to protect the community, long sentences would be the best option to reduce crime.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, opponents including myself, claim that there are certain methods which are more suitable than imprisonment which could aid in the reduction of illegal activities. Linking Words
Firstly
, the rehabilitation of criminals assists them in being good citizens because ,during Linking Words
this
process, offenders would realise their mistakes and would try to improve them. Linking Words
For example
, Central Jail in Delhi run a few rehabilitation programs which are useful to inculcate some human values in them. Linking Words
Secondly
, they should get the opportunity to study their basic education so that they Linking Words
could
find work after release from bars and will not indulge in wrong actions. Wrong verb form
can
Thus
, tertiary treatment and education are effective ways to reduce criminal incidences.
In conclusion, different people hold varying opinions about the methods to Linking Words
decline
crime. Verb problem
reduce
However
, I think that education and tertiary treatment in comparison with long imprisonment would be more suitable to minimise wrongdoings.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure seems disjointed and lacks a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph should build upon the previous one to form a cohesive argument. Consider restructuring the essay to present a more organized and logical flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack sufficient development and depth. The essay should provide a more comprehensive introduction that clearly outlines the different perspectives and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and presents a strong opinion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt but does not fully develop the ideas or provide relevant examples to support the arguments. Each main point should be supported with specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.