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Band 2.5

Being a celebrity – such as a famous film star or sport personality – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sport #personality
Some people claim that being a famous person has only advantages. Have you ever wondered how the weight of fame
affect
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affects
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on
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apply
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their
Correct pronoun usage
your
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 life? I truly believe, being a
publish
Wrong verb form
published
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 character may have more
positives
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positive
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 aspects than negatives.
Firstly
, occupation
for instance
 actor or sportsman is profitable,
Correct your spelling
although
althought
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although
 they don't have to deal with some relevant problems like hunger or lack of money for health treatment.
Secondly
,
subsequent
Add an article
the subsequent
show examples
 benefit is
flexible
Add an article
a flexible
the flexible
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 time
of
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off
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 work which famous and
in
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apply
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the same time
rich
Add an article
a rich
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 can afford. In opposed to people who earn
primary
Correct article usage
a primary
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 salary and day by day have to work
othervise
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otherwise
 it may lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
livehood
Correct your spelling
livelihood
.
On the other hand
,
celebrity
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
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 have to handle
with
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apply
show examples
paparazzi
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 follow their every trace.
Furthermore
, due to
affair
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affairs
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 which
see
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sees
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 the light of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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day
Add a comma
,day
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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may
leads
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lead
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 to physically
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health
heal
healt
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health
 issues.
However
, many celebrities
has
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have
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 their own
psychylogist
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psychologist
psychologists
 who
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 treatment. In
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conclusion
conclusiom
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conclusion
, life in the spotlight has much more positives, because they have
much
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many
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 opportunities
for
Change preposition
to
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discover
Change the verb form
discovering
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 the world due to the money they earn. In consequence, even if someone
decide
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decides
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 to finish the career can use their
live
Replace the word
life
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, but they have to be resourceful and smart to not spend money on
for example
 drugs.
Submitted by kornacka.adrianna on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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