IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to young children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
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Nowadays, a lot of people
prefer
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toprefer
show examples
Correct your spelling
to
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do
Correct your spelling
to
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 volunteer in order to help the environment and nature.
However
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, some citizens consider that a local charity should be necessary for young
students
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 who study in school. I
am disagree
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disagree
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 with
this
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 statement, and I will explain why in the following essay.
Firstly
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, begin with the main reason is
students
Use synonyms
 have their own duties
such
Linking Words
 as having homework or studying
an
Change preposition
for an
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 extra class. High school
students
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,
in particular
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, are always involved in extracurricular activities, and their minds place a premium on test preparation
..
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.
...
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 Because of that, teenagers do not have their own
times
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time
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 for spending
on
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in
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 the field that they are interested in. After that, it will reduce their energy because they have various activities that they should do. But, if
school
Correct article usage
the school
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 adds a compulsory volunteer program, it could lead to
issue
Wrong verb form
issues
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 with health along with mental health.
For example
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, in South Korea
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children from childhood study twice as much.
Then
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, the South
Korea
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Korean
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 government should have
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
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 with death among pupils.
In other
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words
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,words
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 unpaid community service could get awful consequences.
Secondly
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, it is
civil
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the civil
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 right of
schoolchild
Correct article usage
the schoolchild
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. In my view,
the
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apply
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each pupil should select what they want. In
future
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,future
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 it can support to undergraduate improve
the
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their
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 ideology and attitude
with
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toward
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world
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the world
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.
For instance
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, in
USA
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the USA
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learner
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learners
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 should choose how they spend their free time, many
students
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 want to spend their free time with sports or after-school
activity
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activities
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.
As a result
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, it gives more opportunities
on
Change preposition
to
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 reach success. In conclusion, the presence of coercion in doing work in the long term has negative effects on the education of
students
Use synonyms
 and their wellness.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
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