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Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to young children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
Nowadays, a lot of people
prefer
Add the particle
toprefer
show examples
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
do
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 volunteer in order to help the environment and nature.
However
, some citizens consider that a local charity should be necessary for young
students
 who study in school. I
am disagree
Change the verb form
disagree
show examples
 with
this
 statement, and I will explain why in the following essay.
Firstly
, begin with the main reason is
students
 have their own duties
such
 as having homework or studying
an
Change preposition
for an
show examples
 extra class. High school
students
,
in particular
, are always involved in extracurricular activities, and their minds place a premium on test preparation
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 Because of that, teenagers do not have their own
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 for spending
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the field that they are interested in. After that, it will reduce their energy because they have various activities that they should do. But, if
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 adds a compulsory volunteer program, it could lead to
issue
Wrong verb form
issues
show examples
 with health along with mental health.
For example
, in South Korea
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children from childhood study twice as much.
Then
, the South
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
 government should have
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
show examples
 with death among pupils.
In other
words
Add a comma
,words
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 unpaid community service could get awful consequences.
Secondly
, it is
civil
Correct article usage
the civil
show examples
 right of
schoolchild
Correct article usage
the schoolchild
show examples
. In my view,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
each pupil should select what they want. In
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 it can support to undergraduate improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 ideology and attitude
with
Change preposition
toward
show examples
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
.
For instance
, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
 should choose how they spend their free time, many
students
 want to spend their free time with sports or after-school
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
.
As a result
, it gives more opportunities
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reach success. In conclusion, the presence of coercion in doing work in the long term has negative effects on the education of
students
 and their wellness.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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