IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born what might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadventages?

#people #lives #disadventages
Nowadays,
one
 of the widely discussed issues is that social
media
 is made
most
Change preposition
by most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals well-known all over the world, it is undeniable that the internet has become an integral part of our life.
However
, there is no absolute agreement as many find it beneficial whereas others consider everything associated with it negatively. In
this
 essay, I will examine both pros and cons of
this
 controversial issue. On the
one
 hand, both adolescents and elders become more prominent with the aid of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
.
To begin
 with,
one
 oblivious advantage is that the majority of capable humans are able famous on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
such
 as Facebook, YouTube and others as it becomes commonly accessible all over the world
as a result
, it gives a chance to be
film
Add an article
a film
show examples
 star and earn a fortune.
For instance
, according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific research, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youngsters
Add an article
the youngsters
show examples
 utilize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
websites in order to be popular among inhabitants
consequently
, they will earn more money.
On the other hand
, there are many negative aspects and
one
 of them is that technological gadgets
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 negatively for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
organizms
Correct your spelling
organisms
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
eye
Correct article usage
the eye
show examples
 and memory.
In other words
, it is highly recommended by scientists that many people should reduce to use
devices
Change preposition
of devices
show examples
 because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 radiation from
cellules
Correct your spelling
cellular
 phones
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can cause cancer and many serious deceases.
Moreover
,
this
 type of
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
 requires more leisure time from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet users, as a consequence, they will not have enough time for their families and hobbies. In conclusion, having
Correct your spelling
weighed
show examples
weighted
Correct your spelling
weighed
show examples
 everything mentioned
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, I can come to
conclusion
Add an article
the conclusion
show examples
 that becoming prominent through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
 have
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
advantageous
Replace the word
advantages
show examples
 and
Correct your spelling
disadvantageous
disadvantages
disadventageous
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
however
 while technology opens the door to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more opportunities in each sort of field.
Submitted by Premium Version on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: