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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #world #lifestyle
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Nowadays, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that living healthy in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
world
Use synonyms
 is really difficult. But others think if they want to be, it is easy to be healthy and fit. I think it is not very hard to be healthy in
urban
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the urban
an urban
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world
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. There are some problems
about
Change preposition
with
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 living in
modern
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the modern
show examples
world
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
, the quality of air in
modern
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a modern
the modern
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city
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cities
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 is bad due to
a
Correct article usage
the
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 huge amount of cars.
In addition
Linking Words
, the food in
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the restaurant
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restaurant
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restaurants
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 is unhealthy, which has too much oil or
very
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is very
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 spicy.
Besides
Linking Words
, many adults cannot sleep early since they need to finish their work tasks. What is more,
people
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 who work too much
time
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 in a day will sit on their chairs for a long
time
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means that they could not spend much
time
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 on exercise.
However
Linking Words
,
people
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also
Linking Words
 have opportunities to be healthy.
People
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 can
went
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go
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 to
Correct article usage
a suburb
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suburb
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suburbs
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 or
park
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parks
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 to enjoy in
fresh
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the fresh
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 air and natural environment. And, cooking by
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
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 is beneficial for us because we can taste our
favorite
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favourite
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 food, and the point is health.
Additionally
Linking Words
, workers could complete
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 more efficient,
then
Linking Words
 they will not need
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
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in
Change preposition
at
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night
Add an article
the night
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.
Finally
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 life in
modern
Add an article
the modern
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world
Use synonyms
 is busy, we can
also
Linking Words
 take
time
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 to exercise. We can go to
gym
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the gym
a gym
show examples
 or do some sports in vacations and daily life. In my opinion, we can have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 life if we really want. I think that no matter how many troubles, we can try our best to have a healthy body.
Submitted by melindaguan0704 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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