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Band 5

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #world #lifestyle
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In
this
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 society, flowing the country developed. Many
people
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 have their own idea to arrange their life. Some
people
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 believe that
people
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 have a healthy lifestyle
that is
Linking Words
 very difficult, while other
people
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 believe that it is easy for
people
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 to keep fit.
People
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is
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are
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 limited by their
work
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. Everyone has a variety of jobs.
Although
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majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of jobs
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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follow the normal
time
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, some
people
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 should follow the unusual
time
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.
For instance
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, the
people
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 who
is
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are
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 an actor,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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needs to do
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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work
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in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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night. And
also
Linking Words
people
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 have pressure on working, they do not have
time
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 to release pressure and have relaxation. They often need to add their
time
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 on working. Other
people
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 believe that
people
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 can keep fit if they want.
People
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 can use many approaches to be healthy. They can use their leisure
time
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 to go to the gym or control
the
Change the word
their
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 diet. To be specific,
people
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 decrease the demand
of
Change preposition
for
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 fast food
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and eat some vegetables or fruits. From my perspective, I agree with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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statement 1. There are many necessary
condition
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conditions
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 that
need
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needs
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people
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 to stay up late like doing
work
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, carrying children and so on.
Although
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 they can use their free
time
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 to practice, they may not have
this
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time
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, the
work
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 will occupy
this
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time
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 or other things. To sum up, the opinion that
people
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 can be healthy easily if they want is excellent. But the opinion that it is difficult for
people
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 to keep fit has strong opinions:
work
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 limits
people
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’s
time
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 and they release pressure
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
night
Add an article
the night
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. So I suppose statement 1.
Submitted by melindaguan0704 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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