It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for the growth in juvenile crime? What are some solutions?

#crime #violence #media #reason #growth

this

modern era, some people often

thought

Wrong verb form

think

show examples

that the violence in social

media

has been increasing in juvenile crime.

This

essay will

be examined

Wrong verb form

examine

show examples

the causes of the increase in juvenile crime and

provided

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

some solutions in detail. On the one hand, social

media

are

easier

Rephrase

more easily

show examples

accessible than in the old days

namely

Rephrase

apply

show examples

the world is spinning faster than before, especially the technology

such

as the internet on computers and mobile phones

as well

Rephrase

apply

show examples

Last

but not least, online

games

are able to interact with others even though they do not know each other.

For example

, there are many children who play online

games

for entertainment and

introduction

Replace the word

introduce

show examples

themselves to friends in online

games

, the disadvantage aspect is the youngsters truly trust them.

Moreover

, there are many types of people

such

as the great ones and the worst ones

such

as the crooks who will use other pictures

for cheating

Change preposition

to cheat

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

gathering

Wrong verb form

gather

show examples

outside and

doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

bad things.

On the other hand

, some

parents

should limit the time spent on social

media

For instance

, some families have rules about how many times to use mobile phones

for protecting

Change preposition

to protect

show examples

their children from social addiction until the result is bad.

In addition

, the

parents

often teach them to avoid and protect themselves from strangers who are known on the internet.

For example

, my

parents

teach

Wrong verb form

taught

show examples

me to be aware of the people known on Facebook because there are various murders that kill teenagers on the news because it has occurred on social

media

As a result

, it made the youth will protect themselves from strangers.

To conclude

, it can be seen that the causes of teenage crimes

occurred

Wrong verb form

occur

show examples

on social

media

or online

games

Therefore

, there are some possible solutions

such

as teaching from their

parents

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

protecting themselves and

also

learning from the news.

Submitted by prnpt4i on Sat Oct 22 2022

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task response

Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. Provide a more balanced discussion of the causes of juvenile crime and include a wider range of solutions.

coherence cohesion

Organize ideas logically and use cohesive devices effectively to create coherence and cohesion. Provide a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for the growth in juvenile crime? What are some solutions?

Your opinion

Some people believe we should protect all wild animals. Others believe it is only important to protect some. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantage?

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. Give reasons in support of and opposing this policy, and give your own opinion.