It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for the growth in juvenile crime? What are some solutions?

In
this
modern era, some people often
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
that the violence in social
media
has been increasing in juvenile crime.
This
essay will
be examined
Wrong verb form
examine
show examples
the causes of the increase in juvenile crime and
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
some solutions in detail. On the one hand, social
media
are
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
accessible than in the old days
namely
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the world is spinning faster than before, especially the technology
such
as the internet on computers and mobile phones
as well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Last
but not least, online
games
are able to interact with others even though they do not know each other.
For example
, there are many children who play online
games
for entertainment and
introduction
Replace the word
introduce
show examples
themselves to friends in online
games
, the disadvantage aspect is the youngsters truly trust them.
Moreover
, there are many types of people
such
as the great ones and the worst ones
such
as the crooks who will use other pictures
for cheating
Change preposition
to cheat
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gathering
Wrong verb form
gather
show examples
outside and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
bad things.
On the other hand
, some
parents
should limit the time spent on social
media
.
For instance
, some families have rules about how many times to use mobile phones
for protecting
Change preposition
to protect
show examples
their children from social addiction until the result is bad.
In addition
, the
parents
often teach them to avoid and protect themselves from strangers who are known on the internet.
For example
, my
parents
teach
Wrong verb form
taught
show examples
me to be aware of the people known on Facebook because there are various murders that kill teenagers on the news because it has occurred on social
media
.
As a result
, it made the youth will protect themselves from strangers.
To conclude
, it can be seen that the causes of teenage crimes
occurred
Wrong verb form
occur
show examples
on social
media
or online
games
.
Therefore
, there are some possible solutions
such
as teaching from their
parents
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
protecting themselves and
also
learning from the news.
Submitted by prnpt4i on

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task response
Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. Provide a more balanced discussion of the causes of juvenile crime and include a wider range of solutions.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically and use cohesive devices effectively to create coherence and cohesion. Provide a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of the essay.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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