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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for children to learn what is right and what is wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree? What sort of punsihment should be given?

#children #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #punsihment
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It is believed that it is vitally important for young children to educate differences between good and bad and discipline can contribute
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to learning the distinction. I completely agree with
this
 statement and the impending essay will discuss my view and
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
 of
punishing
Replace the word
punishment
show examples
. There are multiple reasons why punishing may help children in their early lives to learn the differences between true and false. To start with, it is important for families to punish their young children when they implement bad behaviour
this
 may result in a significant increase in the level of understanding of good and bad characters.
As a result
, it may have a significant impact on the future of a child.
For example
, if a child steals or is disrespectful to elderly people, their families put him or her alone in a dark room for 23 hours. while it is true that beating has a negative impact on the mental health of the young generation but knowing the appropriate way might contribute to them being
Add an article
a
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successful
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 in the future. One of the main types of discipline is physical beating
this
 results in a dramatic development in the level of avoiding bad work because they can remain it for a long time, and they
afraid
Add a missing verb
are afraid
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 of implementing it again and again.
For instance
, the Times has announced that since physical harassment was banned in schools in Toronto the rate of being disrespectful to teachers by students rise by 20%. In conclusion, it is
crucial
Change the adjective
crucially
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 important for young generations to educate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 variation between wrong and legal due to that sanction is
vital
Change the adjective
vitally
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 necessary to teaching these differences, in my view, punishing increases the level of understanding and physical sanction is the legal sort.
Submitted by suhailjallalzadah on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral education
  • decision-making
  • appropriate punishment
  • reinforce
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • loss of privileges
  • natural consequences
  • harsh punishment
  • emotional damage
  • positive reinforcement
  • fair and measured punishments
What to do next:
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