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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Ordinary people try to copy famous people either regarding magazines or watching TV. Why do they do this? Do you think it’s a good idea to copy this people?

#people #copy #magazines #tv #it’s #idea
Nowadays, we have plenty of celebrities or influencers who show their
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private
priviate
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private
 life
in
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on
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 television,
newspapers
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in newspapers
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 or social media,
moreover
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,moreover
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 it is
very
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a very
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 profitable
an
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apply
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occupation for them. 
People
 who follow them
in
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on
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 social media have been trying to imitate their lifestyle. I truly believe following
someone
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someone's
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 lifestyle may have bad consequences. Have you ever wondered what
motivate
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motivates
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 humans to copy
someones
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someone
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?
Firstly
, at
this
 time, at
this
 time it is taking
few
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a few
show examples
 minutes to find any
informations
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information
 about someone,
furthermore
, we are shaping social media. Humans have an influence
for
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on
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 where and what type of information they share. As a consequence,
in
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on
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 any
website
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,website
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 we can discover many controversial
informations
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pieces of information
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 which may have
bad
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a bad
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 influence on
a
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the
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 youngest
people
. For an instance, kids or teenagers are coping
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with a
show examples
a
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the
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 behaviour of famous
people
 to get a peer's attention.
However
, it may
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
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 even to death if it is a dangerous play.
Secondly
, plenty of rich women show off their luxurious clothes,
moreover
, artificial beauty. In that way, they are trying to persuade other
people
 to buy
an
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apply
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expensive products whiches may have
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insignificant
insignifact
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an insignifact
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affect
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effect
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 on our skin.
However
, the most significant problem is that they have been changing a canon of
a
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apply
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beauty to
such
 an extent that many women fierce themselves to plastic surgery which may
leads
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lead
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 to many health
problem
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problems
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.
On the other hand
,
people
 follow
someones
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someone's
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 behaviour,
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because
beacuse
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because
 they are
immpressed
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impressed
 with
well-build
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well-built
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 bodies. In that way, they find a new passion which is a sport.
Moreover
;
challenging
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challenge
show examples
 themselves and build their
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strengths
strenghts
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strengths
. In my opinion, humans
should't
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shouldn't
should
 focus on
someones
Change to a genitive case
someone's
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 life too much, because they can forget about their own. We should pay
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attention
attentiont
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attention
on
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to
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that
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apply
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what we are watching
too
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to
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 make sure we will not change our personality or
good
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the good
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 features which are
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describing
descraving
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describing
 us.
Submitted by kornacka.adrianna on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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