The prevention of health care and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflcet this. To what extent do you agree?
There is a proverb that says "Prevention is better than cure." While
government
need to focus on improving accessibility to treatment and medicine, in my opinion, it would be more beneficial to take measures to ensure Add an article
the government
better
public health and prevent illness.
In many Add an article
the better
countries
there Add a comma
,countries
are
a low percentage of Change the verb form
is
life changing
Add a hyphen
life-changing
Correct your spelling
diseases
deseases
like diabetics, high blood pressure, heart attacks, Correct your spelling
diseases
Correct word choice
and lungs
lungs
Fix the agreement mistake
lung
Correct your spelling
diseases
deseases
due to Correct your spelling
diseases
Correct your spelling
healthy
Correct article usage
a heathly
heathly
lifestyle and less Correct your spelling
healthy
Correct your spelling
pollution
polution
. It is possible for the Correct your spelling
pollution
government
to implement certain policies to encourage organic farming and combat environmental pollution, food adultation
, Correct your spelling
adulteration
adulation
Correct word choice
and uses
uses
of tobacco. These things together can certainly improve public health in the long term and lower the risk of many diseases significantly. The example of Bhutan can make support Correct subject-verb agreement
use
this
idea more Correct your spelling
strongly
stongly
. Bhutan is the only Correct your spelling
strongly
carbon negative
country in the world with zero pollution. Only organic farming is allowed there. Add a hyphen
carbon-negative
As a result
, people
of Bhutan Correct article usage
the people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
greater
lifespan compared to many other countries with less presence of diseases.
Having access to Correct article usage
a greater
healthcare
system and treatment is a right of every citizen. Any Correct article usage
the healthcare
government
must ensure that. However
, Correct your spelling
government
Correct article usage
the governement
governement
can eventually cut down on the treatment and medicine budget if they can prevent diseases in the Correct your spelling
government
first
place. If more funding is allocated to improve the
public health, there will be many Correct article usage
apply
long term
benefits including higher life expectancy, Add a hyphen
long-term
better
environment, healthier food and so on.
To conclude, I will emphasize Correct article usage
a better
on
the fact that the Change preposition
apply
government
should focus more on preventing illness as in the long run, it will ensure a healthy nation, less pressure on the healthcare system and reduce the cost of medicines.Submitted by farah.proma on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite