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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think personal happiness is closely related to economic success, while others believe that it depends on other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #success #factors
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In modern society,
money
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 has never been insignificant among individuals. While some
people
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 argue that high wages are strongly linked with living
in
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apply
show examples
a successful
life
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, others maintain that there are other essential sectors that aid in boosting happiness. In my opinion, I am convinced that it is the exorbitant
money
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that is
Linking Words
 influential
on
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in
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 meeting
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 needs in both their health and
educational
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education
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 sector. On the one hand, several
people
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 contend that the level of their job satisfaction contributes the most
in
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to
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 uplifting their happiness. Even though the salary is low, when
people
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 work in the field
at
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in
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 which they had been keen to work
in
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apply
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, they can at least be far from being stressed. As high level of stress has a devastating impact on their human health,
thus
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 they can live a better
life
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 than those who are
stressing
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stressed
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 in the workplace to get fat paid.
On the other hand
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, others consider
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
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 as the key method to
live
Wrong verb form
living
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 a better
life
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. Undoubtedly, things that can content
people
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such
Linking Words
 as enjoying various
leisures
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leisure
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 and purchasing luxury items can be only enjoyed by
people
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 who can afford them. What it means is that
for
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apply
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people
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 who do not have enough
money
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 cannot enjoy
such
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 perks,
thus
Linking Words
people
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 consider
money
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 the most crucial method. In my personal view, I believe that
money
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 can aid
people
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 in becoming healthier and becoming intelligent, which hugely contribute to their
life
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 quality. To be specific, healthy cuisines and private tutoring from professional teachers are by no means cheap, which means that
people
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 who are only satisfied with their career getting small
paid
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pay
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 cannot live happier than that
of
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apply
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those who have enough
money
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 to afford
such
Linking Words
 extra options. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 career satisfaction is one of the key
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
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 to live a happy
life
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, I am
firmly
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firm
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 of the opinion that as happiness has a strong connection between health and
people
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's capability, how much they are
successed
Correct your spelling
succeeded
succeed
successes
 in their
economic
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economy
show examples
 is the most essential part to live happily as everything requires
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by clara_you on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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