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Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organization #be #case
Over the years, members of the community prefer to take up their occupation in
organization
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the organization
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.
However
,
this
 choice has
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decreased
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decrease
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decreased
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 dramatically in
recent
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the recent
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era
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eras
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. Meanwhile, there are several factors
such
 as company inadequacies influencing
people
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people's
show examples
 cause of action. Analyzing the downside of going out of business with
clarify
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clarifying
show examples
this
.
To begin
 with,
most
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the most
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 existing
company
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companies
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 are now going out of business.
For instance
,
as a result
 of the degradation in
Correct article usage
the economy
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economy
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,economy
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 some businesses have been sold out to
another
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 while many
them
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of them
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 are now
into
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in
show examples
 joint cooperation.
This
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unhealthy
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unhealth
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unhealthy
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 competition among
organization
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organizations
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 has not only affected the promotion of workers
Correct your spelling
within
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withing
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within
show examples
 the firm but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has cost many their job.
Thus
,
most
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a most
the most
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individual
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individuals
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 are
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a force
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force
Wrong verb form
forced
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 to venture into private businesses.
Moreover
, as much as there are
bunch
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a bunch
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 of
benefit
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benefits
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 attached to self-employment, its demerit is much
prevalent
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more prevalent
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.
For example
, a good number of privately owned firms are
runed
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run
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 by
inexperience
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inexperienced
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 bodies which
has
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have
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 encouraged poor
standard
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standards
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 of production.
Consequently
,
establishment
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establishments
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 are now losing skilled
man-power
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manpower
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.
Therefore
, a lot of individual-owned firms cannot go the extra mile but only end up
to become
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becoming
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 a liability to the community rather than a source of income.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
summary
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summarise
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,
poor
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the poor
a poor
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 commitment of companies to their policy of satisfying their workers is a pull factor for the general public opting into self-own businesses.
Besides
,
current
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a current
the current
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 survey has related that many of them
lacks
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lack
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 the technical know-how. In my opinion, before
organization
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an organization
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getting
Wrong verb form
gets
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 off the ground
they
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it
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 should be certified, to prevent challenges arising from unqualified management.
Submitted by Emmanuel on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
Look at other essays: