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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, governments spemd large amounts of money on the arts and this is supported by some taxpayers as worthwhile. Others, however think that this money would be better spent on health and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these opinions? Discuss, based on your knowledge and experience.

#countries #governments #spemd #amounts #money #arts #taxpayers #health #education
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In the current world, governments of some countries are spending huge tolls of currency on creative works.
Although
,
well off
Add a hyphen
well-off
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 communities are in support of
such
 acts of authority, most people are on the opposite side and according to
them
Add a comma
,them
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 more money should be invested
on
Change preposition
in
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 the development of health and educational
facilities
instead
 of
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
.
Personally
Add a comma
,Personally
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 I am in the favour of
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
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 and in the subsequent ,paragraphs I will be describing the reasons for taking the side.
To begin
 with, creativity is something that people may admire after all their basic needs are fulfilled while most countries fail to provide all the basic necessities evenly to all their citizens. Despite
this
 fact, many governments intents to provide
Add an article
a
the
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huge
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
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 for recreational
facilities
 in order to get higher revenue since well of people are most likely to spend on amusement at a high cost. But as an administrative body, they should focus on the even distribution of
facilities
 and make a greater investment in the development of quality education and improved hospitals for all as it is their basic right as citizens. Another thing to add up is that when the govt provides more emphasis on amusement over education or health there is a huge possibility to decrease the overall growth of that particular country which may lead to a crisis in
further
 hand.
For example
, improper medical
facilities
 may result in a disease outbreak or a lack of educational
facilities
 may lead to unemployment problems
a
Change preposition
on a
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 larger scale. Overall, governments of all countries should make a balanced budget so that creativity gets attention after meeting the needs of the health and educational sectors.
Submitted by barson.mithun392 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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