growth of online shopping will be the closing reason of all shops in cities and towns, do you agree or disagree

It is hard to deny that increasing online shopping is more and more popular among young

people

nowadays, so I partly agree that

this

would be one of the reasons for the closing reason of all shops in cities and towns. On the one hand , making purchases online would be less

time

-consuming and more convenient.

people

living in a

fierce

Change the adjective

fiercely

show examples

competitive world since technology

development

Replace the word

developed

show examples

in a way faster than we could imagine,which means that all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

things

have to be finished in a limited

time

so that

people

are able to handle their work and life well , to be specific ,if

people

by all the

things

in the practical

shop

, they have to cost

time

in the transportation and the communication with the clerk as well as compare with other

shopsshop

Correct your spelling

shops shop

so that could absolutely spend more

time

than just click on the button online to select and pay in a few minutes without going out.

On the other hand

, online shopping is a more economical way to buy

things

we need or like. As online shopping indeed

offer

Correct subject-verb agreement

offers

show examples

a cheaper choice for us since the online

shop

does not need to pay rent or hire many

people

, which could save a lot of money

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the price would be cheaper

although

they still could make a profit from the products. and

this

mould definitely satisfied lots of

people

so that they are unwilling to pay more money in a practical

shop

Last

but not least , online shopping actually has some shortcomings,

such

as the delay of shipment or the unmatching picture which lead to returning goods would surely cost more

time

and money for

people

, especially for those who would need to use the product right away,

such

people

would hurry for some ingredient for cooking or clothes for travelling, they would more likely to buy

such

things

in the neighbourhood. So I would like to say that the fast growth of online shopping certainly would replace part of the practical

shop

, but not all the practical shops would replace by online

shop

Fix the agreement mistake

shops

show examples

unless they are providing poor quality products and

open

Add a missing verb

are open

show examples

far away from where

people

live.

Submitted by 956085982 on Mon Oct 24 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

368 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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growth of online shopping will be the closing reason of all shops in cities and towns, do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People doing dangerous sports activities should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing the sports. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future such as those related to science and technology. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some oeple think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult ought to be optional instead of compulsary. To what extend to you agree?