Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #children #activities #time #pressure

It is believed that children should spend their free

hour

Fix the agreement mistake

hours

show examples

learning educational action.

However

, there are predominantly two contrasting views, where a section of society believes that it's beneficial to use free time learning some recreational activity rather than playing, while others emphasize that

this

can burden the youngsters. I believe that heir should be engaged in exercises which

provides

Correct subject-verb agreement

provide

show examples

some kind of knowledge regarding

day to day

Add a hyphen

day-to-day

show examples

life.

Firstly

, offspring nowadays are spending their free hour on social media

such

as Instagram, Facebook and youtube.

This

can have severe effects on their health, body and mind.

For instance

, a recent news article shows that 70% of

scion

Fix the agreement mistake

scions

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are using specs at a very younger age.

However

, if they spend

this

term in recreational movement,

this

can benefit them in future.

for example

, making clay articles in the group can enhance their capability to perform in a group.

Also

, helping their elders with household chores makes them responsible and helps to acquire manners.

On the contrary

, some individuals believe that

this

can put pressure on children. Because nowadays the school homework criteria are very vast, as well the timings of the school

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

increased. Kids are spending more than half of their time in studies and extra classes. after

this

, if we asked them to stop playing and keep studying even at home,

then

this

can

Correct your spelling

result

inresult

Correct your spelling

result

in result

mental

Change preposition

in mental

show examples

pressure on kids. In my conclusion,

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believe that kids should utilize their age in action which will eventually provide them with some

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

or daily knowledge.

Also

, people and government should have the same platform to deal with

this

matter.

Submitted by priancathakur4 on Mon Oct 24 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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