IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 paper will discuss the positives and negatives of increasing the price of some sugary products to avoid individuals abusing them, owing to the
big
Correct word choice
high

There may be an adjective issue here.

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 percentage of sugar in most of the food and
drink
Correct subject-verb agreement
drinks

It seems that the verb drink does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 existing on sale. In my opinion, high sugar levels are a universal problem
which
Correct word choice
that

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 all of us have to be conscious of and try to select whether the sugar level is accurate or not depending on the circumstances.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we should be aware that
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 products with high carbohydrate content, the number of people suffering from diabetes has increased, especially among children.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is no product that doesn't contain carbohydrates to avoid
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. Something that we can do is promote health and the consumption of less sugary food. So that, we could balance the existence of carbohydrates and reduce health problems.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if kids bring a
coke
Capitalize word
Coke

The word coke should be capitalized in this context.

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 and a sandwich for lunch at school, parents and teachers could encourage them to play games with other children, so they can take advantage of the energy that glucose brings them and burn it,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 way they are acting healthy.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, increasing the cost of foods with glucose is a good measure to prevent people from going directly to these groceries, making them look for alternatives. An example
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 related to promoting health by raising prices is tobacco. In Spain, the cost of tobacco increased in order to avoid excessive consumption compared to previous years.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 caused many people to decide to stop smoking, considering ways to quit. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is a problem, because we are generating bad habits which will be difficult to get rid of them with the passing of time. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 way, the early onset of diabetes is reduced, and by raising the demand, the search for healthier manufacturing is promoted.

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task response
Ensure that your arguments directly respond to the prompt and fully address the question.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating a clearer and more organized structure. Use linking words and transition phrases to improve the logical flow of your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufactured food
  • high sugar content
  • health problems
  • sugary products
  • encourage consumption
  • deter
  • public health
  • obesity rates
  • healthier alternatives
  • nutritious
  • sugar tax
  • revenue
  • health initiatives
  • educational programs
  • public health campaigns
  • disproportionately
  • low-income individuals
  • subsidizing
  • accessibility
  • affordability
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