some people believe that mordern technology encourages more social behaviour, others believe it has made people less socialable. give views and opinion

#people #mordern #technology #behaviour #socialable

Technology like smartphones and their applications are considered a basic necessity today. It is sometimes considered important for survival. There are many mixed views about the impact of social

media

and technology. Many are of the view that it has made

people

more sociable. While others believe that it has made

people

less sociable. According to my point of view, it has made us away from our loved ones. It has impacted our lives so much that we don't even realise how we were and how we had become. I will try to prove my viewpoint in the following arguments. Technology and social

media

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

brought

people

together from different cultures and ages. One can Learn about different cultures and traditions. They become more comfortable and flexible in adjusting

with

Change preposition

show examples

different

people

. There are many studies and

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

that suggest that

people

who are more technologically involved are more sociable.

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

my views are contradictory to

such

studies.

People

get addicted to social

media

platforms. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp etc allow

people

to video call, chat,

Correct word choice

and share

show examples

images and documents. It made

people

addicted and obsessed with it.

People

try to spend their free time using smartphones. They become unconscious

about

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show examples

the outer situations and circumstances. It has made

people

stop making real

friends

. Socialising more and

people

became more

self reserved

Add a hyphen

self-reserved

show examples

and

self involved

Add a hyphen

self-involved

show examples

. They don't like to attend family functions and parties.

People

replace their real loved ones with online

friends

that

one

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can never trust. I have noticed many youngsters and

people

involved and busy with their smartphones at family functions. They don't show any interest in talking with each other.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

social

media

made everyone emotionless. Nobody feels emotionally connected to anyone nowadays. They all try to just take their emotions and love. It has made them robotic. To conclude, social

media

has made

people

less sociable. We might be able to make new

friends

and get to know more

people

. But it has separated us from our loved ones and

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

friends

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

it distracted us from our goals and our dreams.

Submitted by pabhi163 on Mon Oct 24 2022

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

350 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people believe that mordern technology encourages more social behaviour, others believe it has made people less socialable. give views and opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? “Overall, the widespread use of the internet has a mostly positive effect on life in today’s world.” Use reasons and details to support your opinion.

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

With the widespread use of interent , more and more peolpe choose to work from home. Do the advantage of this trend outwight the disadvantage?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The increase in production and consumption of meat has resulted in the destruction of the natural environment. What is the cause?What can be done to solve the problem?