The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in over-weight people in the society? How can this problem be solved?
It is often considered that many
population
Change to a plural noun
populations
who
are at risk of detrimental health issues Correct pronoun usage
apply
is
because of overweight increasing. Unnecessary verb
apply
Thus
, this
essay will elaborate on the reason for the rise in weight and the solution which further
leads to a logical conclusion.
Commenicng
, the contemporary era consists of various kinds of fast foods which is attracted by the youngsters Correct your spelling
Commencing
although
they are also
fond of eating these junkies. Moreover
, the coming generation have
all kinds of benefits, so they don't have to work hard and Change the verb form
has
additionally
, they are not doing any workouts. For example
, "The times
of India" a newspaper illustrates the story of Anant who is the son of famous businessman Anil Ambani. He suffers from obesity and all reasons Capitalize word
Times
revolves
around Change the verb form
revolve
the
weight gain.
Probing ahead, there are manyfold solutions that are essential for everyone to follow in their daily lifestyles for a healthy and fit figure. First and foremost, the masses should make a routine to Correct article usage
apply
do
exercise daily and indulge in Unnecessary verb
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
sport
activities which enhance Change the noun form
sports
the
body movements. Correct article usage
apply
Futhermore
, the habit of consuming junk food items should be reduced Correct your spelling
Furthermore
along with
the increase of
Change preposition
in
healty
diet intake. Correct your spelling
healthy
For instance
, in Japan, the popular actor was too fat in the last
year, but now recently he loses
about 20 kg weight in just four Wrong verb form
has lost
month
.
In a nutshell, Change to a plural noun
months
a humankind
should do exercise on a daily basis Correct your spelling
humans
along with
various kinds of sports. Instead
of consuming street food, they should prefer to cook their meal by themselves which is good for their health and offers an attractive look.Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on
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task response
Ensure that your essay remains focused on the question asked throughout. Both the reasons for weight gain and solutions to it were addressed but could be more directly linked to the question's scope.
coherence and cohesion
Improve essay structure by clearly separating your points into distinct paragraphs with one main idea each. This helps in maintaining logical flow and clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Provide clearer and more varied transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This aids in improving the overall readability of your essay.
task response
Support your main points with more specific and varied examples. While personal or known examples are good, using a wider range of evidence strengthens your argument.